By Sestricken - 11/08/2015 12:22 - United States - New Kensington
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OP I'm sorry for your situation, but unless you two are under 18, you shouldn't need your parents blessing to get married. It's your choice, not theirs.
That would be the case, except for I really love and respect my parents and don't want to endanger my relationship with them. They raised me in love, afterall. I believe they'll come around.
You've handled the drama of this thread very well, I got engaged at 21 so I think if you to want to make it work you'll have an amazing marriage no matter your age. Props to you for your very adult attitude, and best of luck in your future.
if you are in love... you dont need a paper. you mention that you 2 still need parents to pay for stuff. If you love eachother... wait until you both finish school and work for 2 years. Because: yes you change! you change when you finish school, get your first real job, get used to your first real job. after that the changes become smaller. but do you really need a ring to proof you love each other!? that sounds sad!
AkBunny907
18
In the spectrum of time a year is hardly the blink of an eye, your parents seem wise to advise you to wait.
Make a baby. Parents will hurry the marriage. Sure, only if you are actually ready to spend your whole life with the consequences - the man and his child(ren).
I'm sorry that you are still under the antiquated notion that a woman's life is property of her parents and therefore their permission or blessing is necessary.
I could go on with this if I wanted and my parents would still love me just the same. However, since they won't support the marriage I've decided to wait until I have convinced them to do so. Not because my father owns me, but because I respect my parents enough to value their love and wisdom. Perhaps they do have a point that I just can't see yet. Even if they don't, I don't want to cut off my relationship with them.
How come you're so quick to jump to internalized misogyny? There was no evidence of this in the FML, yet you immediately post a condescending comment that even if it were a case of internalized misogyny (which is very unlikely in this circumstance I might add,) would do absolutely nothing to help or educated said person. You have no right to be posting anything like this anywhere.
Delsanity
13
I think one year is too soon maybe wait a little more cause marriage is a big step. Good luck with it anyway
As much as it pains me to say it, your parents are right. My husband and I dated for 7 years before we got married. Unless you are in your late twenties on, there is soooo much growing tat happens.
Why can't they grow together? Happened for me. We had 5 years of perfect relationship with no arguments UNTIL we got married then experienced the hardest year of my life at 23 (started a really time intensive job with low pay and husband couldn't find any work and suffered from depression) but we didn't run to the divorce lawyer and 10 months later I am very grateful for the experience because it was a really struggle and we came out better for it.
I mean people do change as they age but that doesn't matter really. You change and grow together, that's what marriage is. There's no magical age where people stop changing
No, but the early twenties are a particularly profound period of change. The brain is still developing, so there's still a significant period of emotional and mental tumult to be had until the mid-twenties.
I agree. My bio says I'm 20 when I'm really 18. I've dated my boyfriend for basically two years now. From the moment we saw each other we had a connection, and he quickly became incredibly important to me. I can barely go a day without him. I'm in his plans like he's in mine, but we aren't even talking about moving in together for at least 1-2 years yet, let alone marriage! One and two years isn't long to know someone, even if you're certain it's the love of your life. Especially when you're so young like me and OP.
Oh, and in these two short years we have been through a lot together and we've both changed. Mellowed out. We're entering the time of our lives where we will change the most, become real adults.
May you have many more years of deep connection and levelheaded wisdom to come, greeneyedx.
Unless you're in your late 20's, I would agree. My boyfriend and I have been together since high school. We're halfway through college now. It's been a hard fought 4 1/2 years. But we are so different from where we began! Don't give up hope, but don't rush head on into something you may not understand yet
I don't mean to put a damper on this but it is true. every 7 years people change their outlooks and goals in life.
OMG! We have been married for 7 years! Well time to hire a divorce lawyer.
Ayear is not long enough. You should be thanking your parents.. You must be young..
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You have been dating for a year. Maybe wait a bit longer?
I mean, it's only been a single year. They are probably wise to advise you to take the time to really consider your future with him. Wait a little longer and make sure you really know he's the one for you.