Intimacy: Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has...

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By majorlyturnedoff - 21/08/2012 03:02 - United States

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 340

You deserved it 3 341

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Same thing different taste

By epicsquishii - 01/05/2012 11:02 - United States - Riverbank

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 044

You deserved it 3 470

By anonymous - 08/12/2011 10:37 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 156

You deserved it 4 299

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 702

You deserved it 9 305

Mr Selfish

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 11:00

Today, it's the fifth time this week alone I've attempted to explain to my boyfriend that I need more than just two minutes of foreplay to get horny. He tells me he's too tired, but is apparently not too tired to receive head and then have sex afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 195

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 611

You deserved it 2 381

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 787

You deserved it 4 447

Run for the hills

By SickofhisBs - 06/07/2022 12:00

Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 653

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 399

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 05:16 - United States - Norfolk

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 453

You deserved it 4 925

So frustratiiiiing

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 12:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 462

Bakarra 22

Tuesday 21 August 2012 9:17

Only 2 acceptable uses for that phrase: 1. hide and seek 2. sadistic serial killer movie line, unfortunately sex didn't make the cut...

clueless05 12

Tuesday 21 August 2012 9:19

Tell him it would appeal to you more if he called out "Marco" so then you could call out "polo." That way you are both participating!

Comments

ladyluck808 0

Tuesday 21 August 2012 10:07

cool..its nice to try new things, makes it more enjoyable

klovemachine 24

Tuesday 21 August 2012 10:08

Doesn't matter had sex :D

zandalee 19

Tuesday 21 August 2012 10:13

I just clubbed you over the head with a small child. Feel it?

LLZNH 1

Tuesday 21 August 2012 11:03

I felt a sense of pride in #38

coconutdaydream 7

Tuesday 21 August 2012 10:19

Haha he sounds funny, after watching some old TV one day my boyfriend shouted 5...4...3...2...1... THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!!! when he came, I couldn't stop laughing

ruabadfishtoo 0

Tuesday 21 August 2012 10:34

Atleast he's humorous and you get a good laugh about it:)

FirebirdF350 7

Tuesday 21 August 2012 10:58

How dost thou wrap a bee in this thing called bubble wrap, and now I will shout that phrase next time I have sex.

ruabadfishtoo 0

Tuesday 21 August 2012 10:36

This FML produces a disturbingly humorous mental picture.

PrettyKookieToo 8

Tuesday 21 August 2012 11:23

More like majorly turned ON! Actually no, that's really weird.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 21 August 2012 11:40

*sings* Get ready, cause hear I come!

Iniezian 18

Tuesday 21 August 2012 11:45

Next time you're having sex, fake a 5-year old voice and sob "why are you hurting me"? Guaranteed to creep out and scare him. Tell him you'll keep at it 'till he stops.