Animals: Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my... - FML

By SMCHR - 09/05/2011 03:22 - Ireland

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 253

You deserved it 3 667

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 13:57 - Norway

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 213

You deserved it 2 359

Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop

By lindora - 14/09/2020 17:00 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I counted 3 weeks since my new roommate scooped the poop out of her two cats' litter boxes. Also, she keeps rubbing in my face that she takes such good care of the cats, and I can only pretend to nod in agreement. There’s five more months on the lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 241

Cats 4 life

By Doggone it - 12/11/2022 12:00

Today, I've been living with my new roommate's dogs for three days now. In an ironic twist, the small one is very well-behaved, while the two big ones are disobedient little shits. Every day, I get a thousand more reminders as to why I'm a cat person. I can't do this anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 169

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 223

You deserved it 4 335

Manchild

By beeee - 26/07/2010 04:03 - Australia

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 339

You deserved it 12 576

By peevedMcGee - 23/11/2018 17:30

Today, my cat pooped on the floor. After cleaning it up, I’m fairly certain it was not my cat but instead my roommate, who I also suspect is pooping in the litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 930

You deserved it 225

Rampage

By emmalou - 16/09/2021 08:01

Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 127

By SeeMeInTheDark - 07/12/2009 08:54 - United States

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 094

You deserved it 3 363

Anger issues

By Flash - 25/07/2021 17:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 171

By Anonymous - 14/05/2014 20:43 - United States - Irmo

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 327

You deserved it 17 382

Next

Top comments

badbe 0

Monday 9 May 2011 8:36

that's kinda cute. pet her

BahahahLOL 0

Monday 9 May 2011 8:40

Well pretend to be a dog and run her the **** outta there.

Comments

tookietookie123 5

Monday 9 May 2011 20:52

Is it weird I know a person like that?

dinogorawr69 7

Monday 9 May 2011 22:07

One word..... MEOW

jordanalexis97 0

Monday 9 May 2011 22:21

Make her eat catfood and she'll grow out of that stage...

zowieandzander77 1

Monday 9 May 2011 22:30

still thinks? did you think she would "grow out if it" just because you moved in??

GloriousWhorious 6

Monday 9 May 2011 22:34

80: That rhymed! :D

guitaristkp 0

Monday 9 May 2011 22:47

Today, I acted like a cat again to try and get my annoying, ugly roommate to move. She still hasn't taken the hint. FML

jkbrowns12 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 0:17

you are now a dog. have fun with this

dennis96411 12

Tuesday 10 May 2011 0:24

You know cats can land on high falls right? Plan a trip to the Empire State Building with her, go to the top floor, push her off. If she lives then she is a cat, if she doesn't, run!

bwbasketball 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 0:42

tell her whats up and be like get out freak!

cheerbaby05 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 0:49

at least she's not a crazy psyco path like on the roommate:) be grateful:)

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The Top

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 184

Today, I hosted a family dinner. I made a roast, potatoes, green beans, and homemade bread. Everything went smoothly until I realized halfway through I'd used powdered sugar instead of flour. No one noticed at first, then my aunt asked in horror, “Why's it taste like cake?” The rest of the meal was eyed suspiciously and I almost fainted from the stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 257

The Top

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 152

You deserved it 42 320

Today, my 5-year-old cousin came over. We were on the trampoline in my backyard when he fell off and started crying and screaming. While I was trying to comfort him, my mom came out yelling at me for "pushing him off the trampoline" and grounded me for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 425

You deserved it 389

Today, I told my family I’m pregnant again. My boyfriend is now sat outside, crying and getting drunk. My oldest son is looking at apartments for rent because he doesn’t want to be around screaming babies again, and my younger two are crying because they don’t want another sibling either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 1 729

Today, I finished writing the most perfect love letter for this girl at summer school. At the end of the letter I signed: Your secret admirer. Cute, right? Not really. Turns out I was so anxious to finish the letter that I ended up writing my name at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 148

You deserved it 53 647

Today, my boyfriend put chili powder on our loo roll as a "harmless" prank. He forgot women use loo roll to wipe the sensitive parts of their bodies. I have itchy weeping sores inside my vagina and am considering sticking an ice cube up there to stop the burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 573

You deserved it 393

Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 954

You deserved it 114 240