Animals: Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By SMCHR - 09/05/2011 03:22 - Ireland

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 255

You deserved it 3 668

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 13:57 - Norway

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 218

You deserved it 2 360

Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop

By lindora - 14/09/2020 17:00 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I counted 3 weeks since my new roommate scooped the poop out of her two cats' litter boxes. Also, she keeps rubbing in my face that she takes such good care of the cats, and I can only pretend to nod in agreement. There’s five more months on the lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 241

Cats 4 life

By Doggone it - 12/11/2022 12:00

Today, I've been living with my new roommate's dogs for three days now. In an ironic twist, the small one is very well-behaved, while the two big ones are disobedient little shits. Every day, I get a thousand more reminders as to why I'm a cat person. I can't do this anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 170

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 226

You deserved it 4 340

Manchild

By beeee - 26/07/2010 04:03 - Australia

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 344

You deserved it 12 577

By peevedMcGee - 23/11/2018 17:30

Today, my cat pooped on the floor. After cleaning it up, I’m fairly certain it was not my cat but instead my roommate, who I also suspect is pooping in the litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 933

You deserved it 225

Rampage

By emmalou - 16/09/2021 08:01

Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 129

By SeeMeInTheDark - 07/12/2009 08:54 - United States

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 099

You deserved it 3 365

Anger issues

By Flash - 25/07/2021 17:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 14/05/2014 20:43 - United States - Irmo

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 336

You deserved it 17 388

Next

Top comments

badbe 0

Monday 9 May 2011 8:36

that's kinda cute. pet her

BahahahLOL 0

Monday 9 May 2011 8:40

Well pretend to be a dog and run her the **** outta there.

Comments

_Itz_Meena_ 0

Monday 9 May 2011 9:15

that's kinda funny. :P

lainzilla 14

Monday 9 May 2011 9:17

She's either faking crazy to get you to move out or she's a furry, in which case GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

CrackerJack127 3

Monday 9 May 2011 9:18

well I thought that I was a dinosaur when I was 17, until my dad told me to grow the f-ck up. so I became a dr.

My_Nightmare 19

Monday 9 May 2011 9:48

That's cool, as long as you don't forget how to be a dinosaur and you come back to it later. . .

biwinning88 1

Monday 9 May 2011 9:49

best.quote.ever ...... well done

atomicbaboon 0

Monday 9 May 2011 9:24

I've got a few questions before I judge. 1. does she crawl around the campus in her birthday suit? cause that's what a real cat would do. 2. (only if the answer to #1 is yes) what college do you go to? and what are the average acceptance stats? 3. what kind of cat? if she acts like an Abyssinian or a Maine coon, then there is absolutely no reason to complain. a Siamese, on the other hand, would be an ugly ass roommate.

RideOrDie1248 0

Monday 9 May 2011 9:28

.college.

mack_the_knife 3

Monday 9 May 2011 9:31

Just don't rub her the wrong way

dgr8ing 0

Monday 9 May 2011 9:39

what's up with everybody thinking their cats? seriously?

zembof 3

Monday 9 May 2011 9:50

I'll have some of what ever she's smoking no joke

Tantalum 1

Monday 9 May 2011 9:57

Maybe OP is a cat who pretends to be human. Face it, both of you are cats.

teresa96706 29

Monday 9 May 2011 10:04

maybe she's schizo? should bring her to a mental institute just incase, it'd be for her own good and well-being. and doing yourself a favor by not having a.. feminine room mate.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Awkward Work Money Parents Renters Capitalism Landlords Love First Dates Management Coworkers Technology Health Toilet Animals Embarrassing Dogs Intimacy Kids Abuse Parenting Dentist Sex Creepy Transportation Cute Drunk Insurance Miscellaneous Shoes

The Top

Today, I found out from my first cousin whose teenage daughter is pregnant that she has chosen to name her child after mine. I would be okay with this, if it weren’t the same first name, and if they weren’t just a couple of years apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 233

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 859

You deserved it 4 059

The Top

Today, while my spouse and I were 'doing the do' we went to change positions… but instead we changed the location of their shoulder joint. Fully dislocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 205

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 169

You deserved it 2 836

Today, I found out that I eat candy in my sleep. For two months I've been dieting because of my weight and high risk of diabetes. I now know why nothing has changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 180

Today, I woke up realizing that not even the scammer that I told I would pay for her friendship wanted to be my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 295

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 861

You deserved it 9 141

Today, a man came to fix my fridge. He was either on meth or crazy, because he yelled that it was an unsafe work environment, all because my puppy growled at him behind an 8ft fence. He got so crazy, my sick dog had a seizure. I sent the video to his manager, who said we just had a difference in personalities. I agree, I was polite, he was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 163