Work: Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new...

By TacoMan32 - 06/12/2016 04:26 - Canada

Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 179

You deserved it 638

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Same thing different taste

Bye Bye

By Anonymous - 29/12/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom - South Shields

Today, it was my two-week anniversary of starting my new job, after over a year of unemployment due to Covid. It was great, I was getting on with people, and it actually felt like a career where my skillset was valued and I was appreciated by the management. I showed up to work this morning to find it had burned down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 13/12/2010 04:19 - New Zealand

Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 742

You deserved it 2 259

By Tey - 22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 920

You deserved it 17 852

By perpetuallyscrewed - 06/10/2009 04:06

Today, after nearly eight months of unemployment, I started a great new job. After seven and a half hours of work, my new boss comes up to tell me what a great job I was doing, but that he somehow forgot to clear the new hire with the company owner, so I'm fired. Hello, unemployment... again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 888

You deserved it 2 188

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 03:22 - United States - Detroit

Today, I finally started my first job. I also lost it, for being too "enthusiastic" and making my fellow employees look lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 111

You deserved it 969

By tjm - 23/12/2010 06:05 - United States

Today, after finally getting a job offer after months of unemployment, I found out that the person who was going to hire me got fired. Which means I'm not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 702

You deserved it 2 248

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 476

By Jbheller - 03/05/2015 00:08 - United States - Mountain Top

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 365

You deserved it 3 125

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, it was my first day of work at my new job. I got dressed and arrived early, only to find out that the store had closed due to a power outage. Then I found out that the person who'd hired me had totally forgotten about hiring me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 935

You deserved it 121

By jobless - 06/11/2014 02:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, for the first time since I can remember, I went in to work feeling positive, and that I could make good things happen. At the end of the day, my employment was terminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 034

You deserved it 3 236

aj448 5

Saturday 10 December 2016 15:18

I guess you can say that your first day on the job was lit (I'll see myself out now...) But in all seriousness OP, that pretty much sucks for you...

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 10 December 2016 15:34

Plot twist: The OP's job for one day? Fireman. Oh, the irony!

Comments

WeirdUS 29

Saturday 10 December 2016 18:58

Too hot to handle too cold to hold don't worry OP the cream always rises to the top

mcruff 12

Saturday 10 December 2016 19:47

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE?!?!

pacman490 21

Saturday 10 December 2016 22:15

Somebody died in a car accident a few weeks after I started my current job. Nobody's talked to me about it and I haven't asked.

brenton490 19

Saturday 10 December 2016 23:19

So new job fireman? right ...right?

acmariner99 25

Sunday 11 December 2016 6:00

That's quite a burn

caliguy08 17

Sunday 11 December 2016 10:22

You have got to explain this

misanthropic_one 3

Sunday 11 December 2016 23:10

"The building was on fire and it wasn't my fault." Way to make real one of the best opening sentences for a novel ever.

paskievitchjack 23

Monday 12 December 2016 4:39

Did you see a squirrely looking man grumbling about his stapler?

gatorclay97 28

Monday 12 December 2016 15:55

Wow that's honestly

HEnRyEdwardsIII 15

Tuesday 13 December 2016 9:34

at least they will pay you unemployment.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 1 905

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 855

You deserved it 1 042

The Top

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 640

You deserved it 4 728

Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 910

You deserved it 1 853

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year-old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 846

You deserved it 4 692

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 753

You deserved it 11 256

Today, my girlfriend got evicted for having too many dogs. She expects me to let her and all 5 dogs live in my one-bedroom apartment. When I told her no, that I’d get evicted too, she said that should be a sacrifice I’m willing to make for “our family” if I really loved her. They aren’t even my dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 254

Today, I told my long-distance partner that I wanted to take them on a date to the aquarium next time they're in town. They said, "That would be my first date ever!" When I asked about when we went to the zoo and dinner last week, they said it was, "the closest thing to a date" they'd had. Apparently, we're actually just friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 256

Same thing different taste

Bye Bye

Technically…

Unforgettable

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