ACAB, Pizza, Cops and Miscellaneous: Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming...

By woahheylex - 25/06/2011 14:21 - United States

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 660

You deserved it 5 354

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 22:34 - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 265

You deserved it 3 091

By deepblue - 24/01/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 984

You deserved it 3 042

Busted

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 08:00

Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 1 275

The Wire

By Anonymous - 27/09/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, I was delivering a pizza but I got the address wrong. When I got to the house, I was surrounded by police and put in handcuffs at the door. Turns out the wrong address I went to resulted in me interfering with some sort of sting operation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 163

Enjoy!

By sad and hungry - 06/06/2015 14:37 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 561

You deserved it 6 581

Thanks!

By Yuri - 29/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 352

By ScaredDude - 19/05/2019 04:07

Today, I was home alone in the dark and I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't know who it was so I didn't answer. They kept ringing, so I got a bit scared and called the police. When the police showed up, they told me it was a Chinese delivery guy with the wrong address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 2 006

What just happened?

By Danny is pissed - 01/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 143

Keeping up appearances

By waterpistolriot - 23/10/2020 11:02 - Austria

Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 855

By extraflavour - 23/12/2009 20:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 539

You deserved it 3 199

Aim4thebullseye 4

Saturday 25 June 2011 19:47

Shit you got pizza why you mad?

cumverg 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 19:47

The joke is old, grandpa

Comments

bigmanj28 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 2:26

You must live in the ghetto

WDLfootball 8

Sunday 26 June 2011 2:33

alright! man up, grab a gun and see what's making the noise you pussy. No need to call the cops when you don't know if it was just a box that fell

lifesucks54124 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:03

f u

pfizzle16 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:04

oh so you were STONED.

ChiFan96 3

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:34

That's America for ya.

ChiFan96 3

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:36

I did not see other comments before I posted that.

Lolpizza_fml 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:35

only in america...

Lolpizza_fml 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:37

i did not see any comments before me either...

iLoveBoobies21 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:46

welcome to america. lol

staychill 16

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:48

only in America.

justalilcrazy 3

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:53

what op is sayin is she called cops and pizza at same time. it then took cops longer to react to her call then it took pizza to be delivered.

TheMaestro 4

Sunday 26 June 2011 5:02

I'm sure they save the "probably bullshit" calls for after the actually important ones.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Health Covid Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 128

You deserved it 3 083

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 115

You deserved it 3 104

The Top

Today, I finally realized I've spent the last 6 years building a business I hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 815

You deserved it 2 142

Today, I drove home to Las Vegas after being in quarantine in Los Angeles for two weeks. The lights were on and the lock was busted. My apartment is completely ransacked. Yay 2021. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 112

Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 396

Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 559

You deserved it 29 511

Today, I found out the works council won't let the company offer me the job for which I was the only applicant because the council requires 3 years experience with the company. I've only been here for 2 years, 10 months, and 26 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 861

You deserved it 223

Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 523

You deserved it 1 482