Intimacy: Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring...

By UkuleleTime - 23/06/2015 08:07 - United States - Garner

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 867

You deserved it 2 425

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Same thing different taste

By Cold feet - 07/04/2019 12:00 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 597

You deserved it 174

Some fun was had

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 74

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 798

You deserved it 4 923

By anon - 22/05/2015 02:22 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 324

You deserved it 2 176

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 314

You deserved it 840

Toot toot

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 250

You deserved it 36 070

By Grrr - 20/07/2012 07:58 - United States - Salem

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 383

You deserved it 2 079

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 242

You deserved it 7 063

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:04 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 294

You deserved it 4 482

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 130

You deserved it 3 368

colby6666 43

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:21

Get payback with their sock? FYL

Steve95401 49

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:21

Pumping yourself with a pump sounds painful.

Comments

colvindj 22

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:41

this would be hilarious if you had Nike shoes. "just do it"

stieglar 17

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:42

I mean now he knows what it's like to be in your shoes.

daddysgirl243 21

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:45

that's kinda kinky

IWishIWasObama 12

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:46

You can get off on your own foot smell! You're sick!

tormcn 26

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:47

Maybe s(he) likes you?

shmoooopie 29

Tuesday 23 June 2015 23:36

Well I know when I like someone I like to make sweet love to their footwear

LunarCat 3

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:48

Not that rare, if it's a male with a foot fetish. Lock up your shoes!

amileah13 26

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:50

My first thought after reading this was, ew that's unsanitary!

WOTAN1488 24

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:50

Just **** It ;)

kingnothing123x 11

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:51

Better boil it them

daughternature 7

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:52

That's disgusting, and doesn't sound pleasurable at all.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 184

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 352

You deserved it 3 008

The Top

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 693

You deserved it 10 055

Today, my 9 year-old managed to break the padlock on my display cabinet, take out my entire sword collection, run to the garden making lightsaber noises, and bash them on trees and a stone wall. They are ruined. One of them has a crack that has damn near snapped it in two. I want to weep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 397

Today, I was going to ask my coworker to cover for me for a few hours so I could go somewhere where they would pay me for my opinion. I had rescheduled this. Before I could ask, my coworker messaged asked if she could take the exact same time and date off to take her son to a school event. She beat me to it, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 385

Today, after my ex broke up with me, I threw out all the clothes he’d bought me before, which was basically my entire wardrobe. Anyway, this creepy guy who lives a few blocks away seems to be wearing my old clothes and waves my bras and panties at me. It’s gross and creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 1 295

Today, my left arm has been aching for three days. My stupid anxiety brain keeps thinking "Heart attack symptom," whereas in reality I know it's because I made multiple trips from the sink to the water cooler with a full kettle of water to fill it up. My arm is aching because I carried a kettle for too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 170

Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted to look nice at school for a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time your hair looks like that. You could have at least combed it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 905

You deserved it 5 999

Same thing different taste

Some fun was had

Toot toot

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