Kids: Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go...

By A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 394

You deserved it 5 225

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Same thing different taste

By sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 551

You deserved it 6 202

By George Saunders - 21/03/2012 04:06 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 53 494

By fledermausi - 12/06/2012 13:02 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 3 113

What's cooking?

By Hunter - 06/12/2010 06:17

Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 743

You deserved it 33 861

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 04:16 - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 700

You deserved it 4 019

Toynado

By Dad41 - 21/06/2019 12:00

Today, I came home from work and found that my son had taken every single one of his toys out and left them on the floor. Plus some goldfish crackers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 326

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 987

Booze gone wrong

By Anonymous - 21/02/2017 09:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 769

You deserved it 741

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 904

Time out

By nooo - 12/07/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 902

ihaveFMLfeverr 5

Wednesday 9 May 2012 1:30

Talk to him when he's sober.

The_Hitdude 12

Wednesday 9 May 2012 1:35

Is that a serious question? OF COURSE she would rather him vomit on the floor. Have you ever cleaned puke out of a fish tank? Doesn't sound quick-and-easy, does it?