Miscellaneous: Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna... - FML

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 752

You deserved it 2 731

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Same thing different taste

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 270

You deserved it 8 190

By terrified - 18/01/2012 19:02 - United States

Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 839

You deserved it 5 204

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:00 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 330

You deserved it 4 541

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 146

You deserved it 3 005

I just want to go home

By Username - 23/11/2010 20:53

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 2 484

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 498

You deserved it 6 862

Stalker vibes

By liz - 21/05/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 115

You deserved it 52 464

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 645

You deserved it 5 547

By Nicole - 20/02/2012 01:14 - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 546

You deserved it 3 302

Pervy perv walks

By Cashier - 09/03/2011 05:36 - Canada

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 286

You deserved it 3 798

Next

Top comments

leafeon523 20

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:18

If that's the line he's going with, it's probably never been used. Truly a vintage antique!

19990231 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:20

That pickup line is probably as old as he is.

Comments

LostInTheZone11 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:24

Lousey pick up line #7723085-KTRA.

Dave_Davington 33

Tuesday 31 March 2015 2:42

Time to break out the special shampoo, apparently.

toshaleigh 15

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:28

So what did you say/do

wakemeupplease 21

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:30

Better keep it in a museum :D

RusticChick 27

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:32

Clever... yet, disturbing.

SideOfTheAngels 23

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:34

As horribly disturbing and rapey as it is, it's kind of clever. Probably should have been saved for his wife, rather than a stranger.

crimsonlilies 26

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:59

Good point, however can't help but to wonder if this pickup line is preventing him from having a wife.

JustinJK 21

Tuesday 31 March 2015 4:56

Maybe his wife is dead and he's lonely

ChristinePi 36

Tuesday 31 March 2015 7:04

I hope you're not excusing his behavior 53. There's no reason for him to talk some random stranger like that.

feven 32

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:35

Oh god. Reminds me of the time when I engaged in a conversation with an old man about Christianity and his wife & ended with him telling me that he "would pleasure me with his tongue if (I) was a few years older." I completely understand. I thought I was being followed the entire way home. FYL indeed. *shudders*

AllSoul 23

Tuesday 31 March 2015 3:10

My God, I think that would scar me for life.

beararm 11

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:39

that's nasty OP but I'm deff gna use that line when I'm an antique myself.

Mermaidhead 13

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:53

you might not be interested, but let's see what hardcore pawn has to say about his antique.

MDoremis 38

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:55

Hahahaha, that's actually really clever.

ViviMage 39

Tuesday 31 March 2015 2:04

It's like a Christmas tree at that age: all dried out and balls are there for decoration.

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The Top

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 703

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 655

You deserved it 532

The Top

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still available. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 702

You deserved it 4 836

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 619

You deserved it 6 209

Today, my OnlyFans account got deactivated, and no one will give me a reason as to why. There goes $200… FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 313

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 347

You deserved it 5 977

Today, I auditioned for and got a part in a small independent film based on the Count of Monte Cristo. I knew ahead of time it was a low budget remake, but I was surprised to be warned there would be a few soft sex scenes. When I got there, it was blatantly a gay porn movie set in an old dungeon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 136

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 816

You deserved it 2 277