Miscellaneous: Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna...

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 752

You deserved it 2 731

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Same thing different taste

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 270

You deserved it 8 190

By terrified - 18/01/2012 19:02 - United States

Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 839

You deserved it 5 204

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:00 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 330

You deserved it 4 541

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 146

You deserved it 3 005

I just want to go home

By Username - 23/11/2010 20:53

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 2 484

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 498

You deserved it 6 862

Stalker vibes

By liz - 21/05/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 115

You deserved it 52 464

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 645

You deserved it 5 547

By Nicole - 20/02/2012 01:14 - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 546

You deserved it 3 302

Pervy perv walks

By Cashier - 09/03/2011 05:36 - Canada

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 286

You deserved it 3 798

leafeon523 20

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:18

If that's the line he's going with, it's probably never been used. Truly a vintage antique!

19990231 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:20

That pickup line is probably as old as he is.

Comments

R2Dee2 10

Tuesday 31 March 2015 6:49

Old man has game!

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 31 March 2015 7:04

"I'm putting it on eBay."

ChristinePi 36

Tuesday 31 March 2015 7:06

There's nothing harmless about sexual harassment.

Clumpypuppy 18

Tuesday 31 March 2015 7:15

Oh that's creepy! Sorry OP!

white_terrorist 5

Tuesday 31 March 2015 9:33

What a disgusting old man.

momac86 17

Tuesday 31 March 2015 10:24

Hey old man wanna see an antique gun... Creeper

chocolatejunebug 9

Tuesday 31 March 2015 11:02

Yep. The line itself is cool, I like it. Saying it to a stranger without prompting is not.

IWishIWasObama 12

Tuesday 31 March 2015 13:31

HAHAHAHAHA! That's awesome!

limabeans101029 20

Tuesday 31 March 2015 16:16

27- Oh yes because we all love being hit on by creepy men old enough to be our granddad. Such fun!

72alezis838 7

Tuesday 31 March 2015 16:21

Gramps still got game!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 166

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 279

The Top

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 203

You deserved it 3 390

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 515

You deserved it 10 414

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 696

You deserved it 9 445

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 512

You deserved it 3 437

Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 270

You deserved it 13 682

Today, my dad bought me my first car. On the way home, he crashed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 977

You deserved it 320

Same thing different taste

I just want to go home

Stalker vibes

Pervy perv walks

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