Health: Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed... - FML

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 17:11 - Germany

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 661

You deserved it 2 699

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 941

You deserved it 9 372

By AHHH_REPTAR - 23/06/2016 04:54 - United States - Spearfish

Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 637

You deserved it 1 398

By Anonymous - 12/05/2011 07:54

Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 514

You deserved it 5 698

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 986

You deserved it 8 240

Let it bleed

By breza - 01/07/2022 14:00 - Slovenia

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 186

Whackjob

By LaterAlligator - 26/08/2022 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 109

By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 274

You deserved it 49 089

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 14:45 - Malaysia

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 867

You deserved it 4 697

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 077

You deserved it 34 033

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 461

Next

Top comments

jrey6104 4

Thursday 24 December 2015 0:07

I cringed when I read this.

TordNorski 30

Thursday 24 December 2015 0:08

My eye twitched when I read this.

Comments

Metalslipp 15

Thursday 24 December 2015 0:17

Holy ouch, my eye cringed reading this. But, make sure it stays clean to avoid infection.

toyhenoctus 16

Thursday 24 December 2015 0:26

Good God, of all places. That's some horror movie stuff right there

UhHuhHoney 20

Thursday 24 December 2015 0:28

OH MY GOSH THATS GOT TO HURT!!

Grenith 21

Thursday 24 December 2015 0:37

The shit nightmares are made of.

ClaireBrush 16

Thursday 24 December 2015 0:42

I physically cringed while cleaning this

GreyJedi 10

Thursday 24 December 2015 2:14

Yeah, I guess FML is kinda dirty. Needs cleaning.

moocowmilk0 19

Thursday 24 December 2015 0:53

How does that even happen what the heck

DeathofCareBear 21

Thursday 24 December 2015 1:04

That is my worst fear.

booze_n_bitches 37

Thursday 24 December 2015 3:16

I have a genuine phobia about a paper cut to the eye. My heart races when paper is flung around near my face. OP, you poor little lamb, I hope you recover both physically and mentally from this trauma. My heart bleeds for you.

writerchic85 25

Thursday 24 December 2015 1:05

Oh my god that sounds like the worst kind of pain imaginable

derpyshy 16

Thursday 24 December 2015 1:32

*shudders* Nooooo

LPac5295 27

Thursday 24 December 2015 1:45

Oh my word I literally got queasy reading this! I am so sorry and I hope you make a full recovery! lol

1
2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 194

You deserved it 8 079

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 122

The Top

Today, I logged into our family's shared Amazon account to buy some gift cards for Mother's Day. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw the cart already had 6 items in it. Turns out my forgetful stepbrother was debating on what gazebo to buy and forgot to take the items out of the cart. Why'd he put them in there though? FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 372

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 567

You deserved it 4 870

Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 646

You deserved it 4 201

Today, the high point of the day was seeing someone I don't see or talk to very often, and I realized that 99% of the reason we hang out is because I get along with her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 107

Today, the arts company I work for cancelled our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, and will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office trained in ticketing. It stopped raining 10 minutes after we cancelled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 881

You deserved it 2 771

Today, I was called selfish for complaining about COVID lockdowns. Thanks to lockdowns, my family's restaurant has been permanently closed, I've burned through all my savings, and we are going to lose our house. I guess being upset about my family's plight is selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 176