Miscellaneous: Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere...

By spiderfail - 03/07/2012 08:03 - United States - Erie

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 516

You deserved it 2 530

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Same thing different taste

By Spooderman - 04/02/2016 02:04 - United States

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 819

You deserved it 2 484

By Spider fail - 31/05/2016 19:06 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I had a dream that I was swinging through New York City as my favorite hero, Spider-Man. I was almost immediately beaten to death by a mugger. I suck even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 733

You deserved it 1 091

The Spectacular Spider-Thief

By Anonymous - 11/05/2018 15:00

Today, I went to a comic shop to celebrate Free Comic Book Day. A guy in a really nice Spider-Man costume showed up, so I asked and got a selfie with him on my way out. When I got home, I realized my wallet was missing from my back pocket. I was robbed by Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 893

You deserved it 499

By Widowmaker - 28/11/2012 18:09 - United States - Henderson

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 693

You deserved it 48 686

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 180

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 460

You deserved it 2 650

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 121

You deserved it 4 989

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 918

You deserved it 44 881

By beachbumb8538 - 15/07/2011 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 750

You deserved it 5 271

TheDrifter 23

Tuesday 3 July 2012 16:24

Quick, add radiation, you might be able to get some super powers out of it yet.

saIty 17

Tuesday 3 July 2012 16:22

Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na... Spider human balllooooooooonnnn!

Comments

kitties_fml 12

Friday 6 July 2012 18:19

YDI for going to the midnight premiere of Spiderman...he is the lamest ****** superhero. "waaaahhh, I'm Peter Parker, I try soooo hard but I just can't keep up with taking pictures and going to school and helping people. waaaah!" Try some Batman, bro. Bruce Wayne is a goddamn boss.

patsl 2

Saturday 7 July 2012 16:51

Batman is cool and will set records at the box office, but don't you EVER, EVER talk about my favorite superhero (spiderman). But Batman is my 2nd favorite, and his movie DOES look better, bu TASM is really true to the first few comics, and is a really good movie (best Spidey one yet).

patsl 2

Saturday 7 July 2012 16:55

Oh and he's not like THAT, but he has problems that make him a pretty relatable superhero (besides, you know, being spiderman.), unlike rich Bruce Wane (I may have spelled that wrong) who gets everything.