Miscellaneous: Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere...

By spiderfail - 03/07/2012 08:03 - United States - Erie

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 516

You deserved it 2 530

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Same thing different taste

By Spooderman - 04/02/2016 02:04 - United States

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 819

You deserved it 2 484

By Spider fail - 31/05/2016 19:06 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I had a dream that I was swinging through New York City as my favorite hero, Spider-Man. I was almost immediately beaten to death by a mugger. I suck even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 733

You deserved it 1 091

The Spectacular Spider-Thief

By Anonymous - 11/05/2018 15:00

Today, I went to a comic shop to celebrate Free Comic Book Day. A guy in a really nice Spider-Man costume showed up, so I asked and got a selfie with him on my way out. When I got home, I realized my wallet was missing from my back pocket. I was robbed by Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 893

You deserved it 499

By Widowmaker - 28/11/2012 18:09 - United States - Henderson

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 693

You deserved it 48 686

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 180

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 460

You deserved it 2 650

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 121

You deserved it 4 989

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 918

You deserved it 44 881

By beachbumb8538 - 15/07/2011 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 750

You deserved it 5 271

TheDrifter 23

Tuesday 3 July 2012 16:24

Quick, add radiation, you might be able to get some super powers out of it yet.

saIty 17

Tuesday 3 July 2012 16:22

Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na... Spider human balllooooooooonnnn!

Comments

ShannyAK 16

Tuesday 3 July 2012 20:05

We all want to be like spiderman op!

enahom 4

Tuesday 3 July 2012 20:05

Lol

nvidioso 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 20:09

the spider must have not been radio active.

crchara 3

Tuesday 3 July 2012 21:07

Oh the irony

docscientist 9

Tuesday 3 July 2012 21:23

Inb4 misuse of the word 'irony'. Oh wait...

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 3 July 2012 23:04

Well, Your super powers may have to do with which part of your body swells up (on command). As for the hot girl, have you seen the nurses?

hurrican_fml 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 23:15

Give it awhile. You might start spinning webs.

Arrawyn 12

Wednesday 4 July 2012 1:42

That sucks. But it's cool because I just got back from seeing that movie! But, you probably didn't get much chance to watch the movie with that unfortunate spider bite, you didn't miss that much OP. I still feel bad though...