Cars, Birds and Transportation: Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled...

By birdfoooo - 29/11/2011 15:26 - United States

Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 017

You deserved it 55 202

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Same thing different taste

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 662

You deserved it 3 416

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 895

You deserved it 3 639

By tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 376

You deserved it 183

By overlandparkmommie - 14/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 483

You deserved it 3 765

By nothingisreal69 - 01/03/2011 22:21 - Reserved

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 309

You deserved it 13 363

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 11 675

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 848

You deserved it 9 501

Tasty

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 858

By Keaton - 15/06/2010 16:58 - United States

Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 360

You deserved it 44 985

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 61 972

MaryJane232323 9

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:33

What did you think would happen? They'd all start singing like they do in princess movies?

YayorNay 8

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:35

You scared the shit out if them.

Comments

goldfish094 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 10:29

Did you get a picture of the neat shit stripes? :D epic win for the birds hahaha guttered op

Michael_92 20

Wednesday 30 November 2011 10:58

Pics please? Video be better.

marisadc79 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 11:39

Hope your mouth wasn't still open when they all crapped on your car lol

Bullheard 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:11

lol i wana try this! jst not stickng my head out the window., i dont wana get shit on

Rapt0rJesus 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:39

My ass, You are an idiot on LSD.

mjnelson 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 16:40

I f***ing hate those Walmart birds >:/

Rachel1987 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 17:13

Shock and terror! Birdemic ftw?

Fooberry 9

Wednesday 30 November 2011 17:43

Wow, you're dumb. And just so you know, many birds have facial recognition. And they'll tell all their friends about you. Have fun!

linzjune 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:17

You literally scared the crap out of them!

mymonolife 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:33

Imagining you saying this shit matches the picture in your profile. Hope you look worse than Smith. Lol

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You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 13

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

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Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 124

You deserved it 1 482

Today, I overheard mom talking about how my youngest sister was the only one who used the money from the insurance settlement from my dad's death responsibly. I was in my first semester of college when she cashed in mine for a vacation. I had to drop out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 667

You deserved it 2 503

Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML

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You deserved it 275

Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 040

You deserved it 3 008

Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 880

You deserved it 54 913

Today, my mum's response to my psycho sister being angry and threatening my partner, was that I should make her angry at me since she needs someone to hate, and I'm the default, so I handle it better anyway. This was after I asked her to get my sister professional help, and she denied the need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 107

Same thing different taste

Nature is healing

Tasty

Clever

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