Embarrassing and Kids: Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my...

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 885

You deserved it 8 366

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Same thing different taste

By seethroughpee - 06/05/2015 05:22 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 293

You deserved it 3 984

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 4 373

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 8 895

Express yourself

By Embarassed - 18/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 124

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 143

You deserved it 6 496

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 693

You deserved it 640

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 337

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 464

You deserved it 3 456

Excuses, excuses

By jenn - 24/10/2021 17:00

Today, my daughter didn't clean the bathroom today, even though I told her yesterday that she needed to do it. She claims she forgot, because, she’s "slept since then.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 235

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 319

mightymart 5

Monday 23 May 2011 12:03

hehe not so bad.. he could have caught you doing something else...

SlyTail 5

Monday 23 May 2011 12:01

Ahhh kids..

Comments

alex1432 9

Tuesday 24 May 2011 8:01

at least you woke up, some people aren't as lucky

samicna 4

Tuesday 24 May 2011 8:56

she loves her mommy

Faz7875 2

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:15

That's what happens when u have kids. No sympathy.

kassieleigh 3

Wednesday 25 May 2011 5:17

hmm, my mom did that too the other night.. apparently it is a new trend.

SunDropGirl 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 5:59

eh no biggie I can fall asleep anywhere!(:

envyyourlife 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 18:20

you shouldnt let ur kids in the bathroom when your naping.

greenlipgloss 0

Sunday 29 May 2011 9:27

hahaha thats hilarious :)

stepherly 5

Monday 18 July 2011 19:54

Go out like Elvis.

bigbangvip1 7

Thursday 9 May 2013 6:01

this website has helped my decision on having kids, NEVER. GONNA.

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The Top

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 971

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 513

You deserved it 15 068

The Top

Today, I was sent by my mother and her boyfriend to pick up some take-out. After getting the food, I began to turn out once the traffic light was green. An asshole cop sped past the red light and slammed into my car, totaling it. When I called my house, my mom's boyfriend asked, "Where's our dinner?" I'm fine, by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 78

Today, I wore a new perfume to a first date in park. Halfway through, he kept sniffing the air and asked, “Do you smell onions?” Turns out the perfume reacted badly with my skin chemistry, making me smell like a taco stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 102

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 506

You deserved it 315 130

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 506

You deserved it 4 763

Today, I had a job interview that I had spent hours preparing for it. When I arrived, the interviewer told me the position had been filled already and they forgot to notify me. I wasted a whole fucking day for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 82

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 694

You deserved it 8 603