Intimacy: Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room...

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 139

You deserved it 63 338

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 883

You deserved it 20 681

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 269

You deserved it 7 595

By anonymous - 04/11/2014 12:03 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 244

You deserved it 8 495

By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 030

You deserved it 1 307

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 347

Mr Clean

By Jenn - 18/08/2021 09:59

Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 130

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 061

You deserved it 894

By anony - 27/02/2013 13:49 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 722

You deserved it 6 693

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 999

You deserved it 33 480

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 534

englishmuffin 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 12:05

Ummm... I don't know what to say. He was pretty cool about it. Do a better job next time?

mycoffeesucks 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 12:07

if he ate you out regardless of the toilet paper, then this isn't an FML

Comments

skulls_n_hearts 0

Friday 19 June 2009 9:53

im always worried that will happen to me someday. >.

Jared1James 4

Friday 19 June 2009 15:53

Wow. You people are immature. All you guys are like "ewwww" and it's actually not that bad. What's bad is that your having a fit about that and actually it's not even bad. If my girlfriend ever has that problem, I'd grab it, throw it away, make her smile about it so shes not embarrassed, and continue on. People are assholes. Girls, don't be worried about it. (: Unless, of course, your boyfriend is a ********. Then leave him. xD I can't stand when girls are treated like shit. Things happen.

flaschgirl16 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 20:38

AWh........................ you are so nice and cool about things, your girlfriend is lucky to have you:)

lovegod 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 8:27

#184 i hope u really mean it (treating girls with respect). cause u can say it and not give a poop about it. Dont worry at least u wipe. its disgusting but it happens and u really cant do anything once it happens and u dont notice.

lulujay 0

Monday 19 October 2009 13:03

dude I love you lol

purpleiscool 0

Friday 19 June 2009 21:03

Kudos for #184. :]

ShadowPoseidon 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 11:04

o.O omg.... thats really embarassing.....

skulls_n_hearts 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 14:20

cha cha cha charmin. im sorry but this is so funny especially since im paranoid about it happening to me.

Laughing_is_cool 4

Friday 26 June 2009 10:08

omg i never even thought such a thing could happen!

fuglyasian 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 5:54

ewwww. nasty

imreallyfucked 0

Friday 3 July 2009 6:27

Toilet paper on the vulva that's been used after urinating: not bad. She wipes...and that's more than can be said for women in some third world countries. Toilet paper bits on the anal opening/perineum that's been used for pooping: not bad if it hasn't any fecal matter on it. At least she wipes, which is more than can be said for American women in the 1700's before toilet paper was invented. If you decide to do analingus, rinse with water & mild soap (i.e. Dove). Put a condom on the tongue or use a dental dam. Rimming hot women is a delight. Nothing like tonguing the brown eye. Toilet paper on the vulva that's been used for pooping: bad. Wiping from front to back should prevent this. That vulva should be thoroughly washed. Infection from E-coli or Hepatitis from fecal matter = you're gonna have a bad day.