Miscellaneous: Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe....

By Anon - 29/09/2015 03:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe. That's quite a normal occurrence, but this time, I stubbed it on my drunk, passed out, 53-year-old father's forehead. He's mad at me now and has cancelled my allowance. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 9 048

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Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 661

You deserved it 3 397

Drunken antics

By DevilsTemptation - 29/08/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 162

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

By FlatFoot - 05/10/2017 07:00 - United States - New York

Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 944

You deserved it 321

By :// - 05/11/2013 21:01 - United States - Romulus

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 759

You deserved it 3 754

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 095

You deserved it 3 061

By Anonymous - 03/02/2010 20:04 - United States

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 428

You deserved it 2 932

Dude! Come on!

By CreeperKiller2000 - 29/05/2017 00:00

Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 074

You deserved it 1 221

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 727

You deserved it 5 789

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 665

You deserved it 2 777

say_what2032 12

Tuesday 29 September 2015 13:41

You're 23 and you still have allowance?

UH60 26

Tuesday 29 September 2015 13:41

Why do you have an allowance at 23

Comments

oldsaltydawg 12

Wednesday 30 September 2015 20:37

allowance? get a ******* job

AggieMike77 12

Thursday 1 October 2015 3:53

you're 23, still live at home and you get an allowance? What the **** are you? Too stup8d to work and be on your own?

rroyma24 8

Thursday 1 October 2015 5:07

Allowance? YDI. Get a job, you're not 13 anymore.

momac86 17

Thursday 1 October 2015 7:47

Grow up

katertott 44

Thursday 1 October 2015 11:11

Wait, allowances are actually a thing? I thought that was just in books and movies... I always had to work hard for every penny. Still do.

pitapizzaparty 18

Saturday 3 October 2015 4:20

Your toenail cut his forhead

Henderbender66 3

Sunday 4 October 2015 5:27

Uh. Move out? Get a job?

lovehate8995 9

Sunday 4 October 2015 22:58

allowance at 23???.... what...

GeorgiaBea 28

Monday 5 October 2015 0:23

Why do you have an allowance at 23? I had been living on my own in a different state for two years by that point.

iwadasn 32

Monday 5 October 2015 4:19

YDI for still getting an allowance at 23. Have some self-respect and get a job.

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Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 6 151

Today, I was walking down my street when a girl came up behind me and started yelling about me being a slut. When she saw I was the wrong person, she continued to yell at me because I have blonde hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 171

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 337

You deserved it 38 276

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 140

You deserved it 2 354

Today, I babysat a four year-old kid, so his parents could go out to party. Once in bed, he yelled, "I want to go party!" After three or four times, I told him to go to sleep. Two hours later, he'd wet the bed, saying, "I told you I want to go potty!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 994

You deserved it 52 313

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 954

You deserved it 3 500