Miscellaneous: Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed...

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 075

You deserved it 12 726

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 868

SHAME!

By Poowee - 18/09/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it wouldn't go down the pipes. After about ten panic-filled minutes, I noticed the cat litter box. I carefully scooped out my logs, and buried them in the cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 591

You deserved it 49 434

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 294

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 295

You deserved it 7 527

Caught short

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 18:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 953

You deserved it 3 396

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

Weren't there two girls?

By Megan - 19/03/2018 01:30

Today, I was at my boyfriend's in a back room that wasn’t connected to the main house. I really had to pee, but neither of us wanted to go into the house, so he told me to just go outside in a cup. I ended up having diarrhea in a cup in my boyfriend's backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 357

You deserved it 4 608

TW: Gross

By sweet_stufz - 11/11/2010 13:30 - Canada

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 651

You deserved it 38 899

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 522

When nature calls

By Andrew Williams - 11/12/2020 14:01

Today, as I was walking to go look at Christmas lights in my neighborhood, I really had to go number two. I called my dad to come and pick me up. I couldn’t hold it in much longer, so I took a crap in the sewer in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 358

MoronsAccount1 12

Tuesday 10 September 2013 8:25

I don't even have a smartass comment to make. I genuinely sympathize for your misfortune.....

Norvi 26

Tuesday 10 September 2013 8:25

I get that OP was embarrassed, but wouldn't telling the bf have been a better option?

Comments

JoseIsAdork 31

Tuesday 10 September 2013 9:04

I don't think that's what the meant by "enjoy the go" on the toilet paper commercials

kemando 22

Tuesday 10 September 2013 9:18

Should've just learned to use the 3 seashells. :D lol, but seriously OP that's gross, I'd have left it, and said "the toilet seemed to flush fine when I left". Or something along those lines. I'd rather be the clogger than the tosser...

oracles_fml 3

Tuesday 10 September 2013 9:21

this is fake as ****. I saw a post on tumblr with this same ******* story, girl poops in a boy's house, it doesn't flush, scoops it out of the toilet, something embarrassing happens. yeah right.

AmorVitae93 6

Tuesday 10 September 2013 9:25

Well that's a shitty situation

Aero220 16

Tuesday 10 September 2013 18:29

Thank you! I thought I was the only one.

MrBoredomioo 18

Wednesday 20 November 2013 6:54

Am I the only one who likes the shitty situation joke?

shanannygians07 28

Tuesday 10 September 2013 9:26

I just died laughing. This happened to my friend when we were at a party, she just put it in the trash can. But walking through the house with it is epic

Mauskau 35

Tuesday 10 September 2013 9:27

I suppose you didn't want their Scottish mother coming in and asking which of yous left a shit in the toilet and didn't flush it. Disgusting!

willowfiasco 4

Tuesday 10 September 2013 9:58

You couldn't just tell them the toilet wouldn't flush? Your dumbass "solution" would of never crossed my mind.

Llama_Face89 33

Thursday 12 September 2013 11:37

While I agree with your point I believe the word you were looking for is have. Would have.

AngryD 9

Tuesday 10 September 2013 10:09

He probably knew his toilet was broken and feed you to the wolves by not telling you......take him off your Christmas card list

fmessiah 19

Tuesday 10 September 2013 10:34

I was at a party and this girl got very drunk and shit in the laundry. She blamed it on the dog (people saw her dack and squat) so we called her ralph (the dogs name from then on). The host of the party picked the log up (no to) and threw it outside so we called him pooperscooper.