By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 21:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 430
You deserved it 6 543
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
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Top comments

keverdeen 14

I don't think I've ever read an fml with such detailed imagery...

339 8

Comments

minzzy 8

I like how you called him a "juvenile cockbite."

84 3
gracehi 31

"I thought this SHIT only happened in movies." I see what you did there, OP. ;)

77 7
blunttobluntest 12

That shit is genius!

2 4
FMLKitten 15

Almost as intelligent as your grammar.

3 25
bakerella 29

All because they didn't add a period at the end? Nice

26 3
seandoc 13

I don't see what the problem is with my grammar.

17 2
FMLKitten 15

In my opinion, #15's comment doesn't sound grammatically correct. But who knows? It could be one of those weird cases where it is correct but sounds like it shouldn't be.

3 31
seandoc 13

#27, I don't see anything wrong with my grammar. But who knows? Maybe you're right about me being wrong!

13 3
GothickNihilist 15

There is no problem with your grammar. Your picture however is slightly disturbing.

23 1
seandoc 13

#44, I appreciate the honesty, but, that was my intention.

6 1
cognauticcreix 9

I believe one's vocabulary is generally described in terms of size or quality (eg, large or excellent). One's prose, however, may be described as "intelligent," or articulate, pretentious, or pedantic, as more examples. In terms of parts of speech it's not correct, but if we're getting really nit picky it's bad usage.

9 3
malikadreams 4

It should actually read "what intelligent vocabulary", sorry two years of Higher Level IB English turned me into a grammar nazi.

1 13
seandoc 13

Sorry that Higher Level IB turned you into an grammar imbecile? Me too.

4 1
little_one 20

Wow is the toilet still in one piece after that catastrophic defacation?

30 5
jazzybaby179 22

Wow what an asshole!!

8 5
ICastillo 24

Just like after eating Mexican food. That feeling like you're ******** lava, it's just not a good feeling.

6 3
olpally 32

Great fml. Love the choice of words "juvenile cockbite" lmao. That's a real pain in the ass op. don't worry, the world will end tomorrow with your nuclear war head still going off. Lol.

8 13
BellaBelle_fml 23

I really admire your optimism! And I'm not being sarcastic or rude by saying this. I genuinely do enjoy reading most of your comments, even though a lot of them don't really make much sense. Because you can almost always find a 'bright side' in practically every situation described in the FML when there doesn't seem to be one. Have a nice day olpally :)

0 0
perdix 29

The hyperbole is too much for me. Everyone within miles of a nuclear strike would be literally vaporized. An M-80 exploded in the arsehole would be more relatable . . . don't ask me how.

25 8
TheDrifter 23

Perhaps it's more apt than we think. OP might just be a raging fart machine, the turds having been vaporized by the intense heat and velocity.

7 2
VooDooCarrie91 19

You seem pretty butthurt about the situation, OP

14 5