Kids: Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak...

By Anonymous - 03/10/2015 07:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 107

You deserved it 12 546

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Same thing different taste

By shizzy09 - 13/04/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 507

You deserved it 5 137

By Lexi - 20/11/2010 19:07 - Canada

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 427

You deserved it 7 281

By imbx - 13/04/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool. When I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 711

You deserved it 20 266

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 17:19 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 437

You deserved it 37 131

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 149

You deserved it 6 231

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

By orcatheseapanda - 09/01/2016 05:14 - Thailand

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 189

You deserved it 1 422

By geli - 09/08/2016 00:12

Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 780

You deserved it 1 449

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 640

You deserved it 6 653

By Mj - 20/07/2016 00:28 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 770

You deserved it 4 275

nodeathtoall 19

Sunday 4 October 2015 0:10

You literally scared the shit out of her Bravo

MassiDelta 28

Sunday 4 October 2015 0:10

I will not make a horrible pun this time

Comments

Vlen_fml 20

Sunday 4 October 2015 12:06

how bad is it that my mind went straight to Dr. Zoidberg yelling "You call that an ink defense!?" before blasting everyone with ink?

Wolf6661 22

Wednesday 16 March 2016 12:01

Bad

clickme 17

Sunday 4 October 2015 13:54

and she's not a squid, right?

Radayam 19

Sunday 4 October 2015 16:28

Pretty sure she's a kid.

Le_ponderer 14

Sunday 4 October 2015 14:51

I have never really understood why it's considered "fun" to scare little kids in an already potentially dangerous environment. Think of the psychological distress you caused. A water balloon? No problem! But making her shit her pants in public? Buddy, you will be paying for a whole lot of therapy.