Work: Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice?...

By Breanne - 14/07/2011 15:25 - Canada

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 265

You deserved it 2 323

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Same thing different taste

What?

By Candlestick Maker - 07/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I went to a doctor's appointment to figure out why I've suddenly started going deaf. As it turns out, for some reason my ears now produce wax at an alarmingly fast rate. "Enough to make an entire candle before long if you save it up," the doctor said when she cleared them out. I guess this is my life now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 76

Glue ear

By I can't hear you! - 14/12/2022 09:00

Today, I found out that my waking up every morning with my ear being ridiculously plugged is actually an ear infection. How did I not know? It's simple: my ears generate enough wax to make an entire fucking candle, so I assumed they were just building up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 143

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

By EarScentedCandle - 27/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 206

You deserved it 337

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 6 724

By loverofstrife - 07/10/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a co-worker that everyone else always seems to avoid. He spent the next ten minutes telling me all about his abcessing sebaceous cysts. Apparently, "The scars look just like gunshot wounds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 109

You deserved it 5 619

By suppressinggags - 18/03/2016 19:45 - United States - Kennett

Today, I found out that my stepsister loves sticking random household objects in her ear in an attempt to collect ear wax. I found out when I walked in on her trying to pick all the wax out of the bristles of my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 531

You deserved it 1 243

Coming through

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 18:00

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 187

Fingerlickin' good

By Anonymous - 13/07/2016 04:22 - United States - Lewisville

Today, while working at my new job at a surgery center, I noticed how odd it was that the room began to smell like fried chicken. I thought it smelt pretty good, until I learned it was actually the smell of someone getting their ear cauterized. I enjoyed the smell of someone's burning ear flesh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 242

You deserved it 1 761

By Nickolas - 31/12/2010 05:58 - United States

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 057

You deserved it 3 731

By stankness - 22/03/2013 15:01 - United States

Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 348

You deserved it 2 789

clownman 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:53

you work in the same office as Shrek??

aardvarks 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:48

Won't that be a lovely scent?

Comments

NeverShoutDana 13

Thursday 14 July 2011 18:59

Everyone has a dream... Don't crush their's.

creedaddict 9

Thursday 14 July 2011 19:01

shrek?

F0xyTurtle 8

Thursday 14 July 2011 19:04

that's gross...

raphanne_fml 33

Thursday 14 July 2011 19:16

How lovely...

amsgirl11 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 19:55

Thaats Reaalllyy Naasty . Lmfaao. -Amsgirl (:

commietaco 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 20:07

really? your name is amsgirl? I'm so glad you put it at the bottom of your comment because I would have never known that otherwise.

ygdrassil 17

Friday 15 July 2011 4:36

You know, it changes a word if you throw in duplicate letters randomly. You can't go about lengthening words at will. And, while I can see the potential benefit of skipping capitals, why would you capitalize every word as though your comment were a title? Case of letters has meaning and thisis English, where we only capitalize the first word of a sentence and proper nouns. Your whole comment was anything but proper.

ygdrassil 17

Friday 15 July 2011 4:47

"thisis" That was a minor typo; I'm writing on my iPod touch. I thought I should point out that I meant "this is" before anyone jumps on me for being a hypocrite.

blinksmilewink 23

Thursday 26 January 2012 20:55

Good save man.

MrXerxes5 6

Thursday 14 July 2011 20:21

Is he Shrek?

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Thursday 14 July 2011 20:21

Now that's Just awful. He should clean his ears out more often. >>;

mintcar 9

Thursday 14 July 2011 20:25

Pumpkin Spice, Fresh Linen or Vanilla Cupcake?

Arch27 27

Thursday 14 July 2011 20:37

I'm not quite so sure that earwax can work like that.

StartFromTheDark 6

Thursday 14 July 2011 20:45

I have ear candles at my job that you stick in your ear and light on fire to remove ear wax. They're pretty effective.

VeganVampyre 26

Friday 15 July 2011 5:40

For some reason I thought you were going to say you made them from your own earwax, so it does work. :/ That sounds... not very safe, though. How does lighting a candle in your ear help anything? (Seriously wondering here...)