Animals: Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that...

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 520

You deserved it 3 597

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By coolbeans123 - 10/05/2011 16:37 - Singapore

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 517

You deserved it 7 717

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 409

You deserved it 22 965

Surprise!

By Fat_abott - 05/01/2012 20:40 - France

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 261

You deserved it 5 561

Signs of distress

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 212

Stomach bug?

By Heather Scurfield - 21/03/2021 10:59

Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 139

Insult to injury

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 18:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 078

You deserved it 4 770

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 171

The little things

By Anonymous - 13/09/2010 16:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 286

You deserved it 2 937

By Stupidhuman - 13/04/2017 13:02 - United States - Sparta

Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 536

You deserved it 2 205

Welcome home!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 142

Llama_Face89 33

Tuesday 4 October 2011 11:53

Make the pansy get you a drink, then clean it up.

SteveTheJanitor 6

Tuesday 4 October 2011 11:53

Tell him to man up and clean it up himself.

Comments

MrChristopher92 4

Tuesday 4 October 2011 13:02

I can only imagine the calls you'll get when your cat spits up a hair ball :O lol

kaceemae 7

Tuesday 4 October 2011 13:21

You rushed home without calling him first to find out what to expect from the "emergency"? I would've turned around and gone back to work. A half hour drive is not that far.

ScarletBloom 14

Tuesday 4 October 2011 13:21

You need a catsitter who can assist your cat and nobody pesters you.

NEEPLES 7

Tuesday 4 October 2011 13:29

Wow your boyfriend needs a Job.

MissRoxiie 12

Tuesday 4 October 2011 13:43

My cat does the exact samething and its always me or my mom that has to clean it.... Mens are ******* when it comes to cleaning stuff like that.

elisabeth1_fml 0

Tuesday 4 October 2011 13:53

Ever heard of the boy who cried wolf. Well your boy will one day have a real emergency and big surprise you won't believe him. Next time ask him what's wrong. Men are such drama queens.

X3liteXHunterX 12

Tuesday 4 October 2011 14:06

Lol, men are the drama queens? I think not.

khaya 9

Tuesday 4 October 2011 14:00

Someone is about to be arrested for domestic violence.

perdix 29

Tuesday 4 October 2011 14:22

Getting you fired is one way for him to get your ass back into the kitchen where he thinks you belong. You could either be the submissive housewife for this douche, or find a man who respects you.