By Anonymous - 06/12/2015 09:58 - United States - Asheville

Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 293
You deserved it 2 215
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Top comments

Tripartita 44

"Oh, nice, so you've finally pooled the money from your many lovers to get one ring. Good thinking."

190 3

Comments

ragnarok1540 39

Try to remain calm and do the job in a nonchalant manner and show your ex what an ass she is. Be glad you are no longer in a relationship with someone so immature.

27 1
olpally 32

I would have thrown it in the trash. What a bitch.

4 30
askullnamedbilly 33

Gee, how badass of you. I bet that wouldn't have gotten OP fired at all.

30 0
olpally 32

Who says she is his boss?? He doesn't have to do anything if he doesn't want to.

1 34
tarlax 11

Jeeze, just when I think Olpally's comments can't get any dumber, he posts shit like this. Newsflash, genius: it's pretty ****** easy for her to tell his boss and quickly get him fired, or worse.

34 3
askullnamedbilly 33

I actually assumed she was a customer, #24. I don't know what kind of bosses you've had, but I'm pretty sure if I had casually thrown away a customers property I would've lost my job. Asking him to inspect her wedding ring was childish and petty, but from the way the FML is worded that appears to be OP's actual job.

26 1
olpally 32

Because all of your comments are right and smart too? My ass.

1 33
tarlax 11

Nope, I post some dumb shit. But at least I put some thought into them and try not to make them all a variation on "[insert generic statement]. Bitch." You make me feel like I'm not THE dumbest person on here. So thanks for that, dude.

26 2
olpally 32

Just go a few fmls down, you'll see I do have thoughtful comments, sometimes these quick stupid ones are rushed.

2 21
tarlax 11

You're Canadian, so I'll yield to your superior wisdom and stop.

16 6
91hayek 31

Repeatedly refer to her as Sauron and complain you cannot see the elvish inscription on it no matter how hard you clean.

32 3
pokemyeyes 23

Its not in elvish, its the dark words of mordor

15 2
91hayek 31

Isn't it both? At least I think the lettering is Elvish, just adapted.

18 0
gracehi 31

Yes, it's both. It's an Elvish dialect that is unfamiliar to many who speak Elvish that aren't Sauron's lackeys. It makes sense if you think about it because orcs are just corrupted elves so they would speak corrupted Elvish.

13 0
djTrikhster 4

If you've played the shadow of mordor (spoiler alert. you've been warned) Sauron was an elf and you play it as half ranger of the black gate and half elvish blacksmith celebrimbor, the one who forced those rings.

5 1
beeferjay 34

lemme guess, you work at the walmart jewelry counter?

23 5
sanchogrim 18

I would've politely told her to **** herself.

3 11
Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Would you kindly remove yourself from the premises and find a place where you can have sexual intercourse with yourself.

10 0
Sunflora219 26

That's when you should've taken the opportunity to say "Oh wow. This ring is almost as fake as your relationships."

32 1
Joshwarrior 39

Ah you beat me to it lol could've said it was a knock off to start drama

5 2
Sunflora219 26

"Ring around the cheating liar, Pocketful of meat to buy her, Relationships, Relationships, Guess they mean nothing."

5 2
Mynamewontfi 40

I hope you were acting indifferent to the situation. She sounds like the kind of person who would become angry thinking you don't care about her anymore.

6 3
pockleboy 7

Use the secret cleaning solution. 8==>~.

6 15
91hayek 31

It worries me that you used > instead of D for the head. That's some harpoon tip you got there.

23 1
weatherxveins 29

It's more effective for fertilization, the younger generation is being born with them. Evolution at work.

6 1
91hayek 31

Going all poindexter here, but the head of the human penis has been discovered to act as one of natures most effective plungers. This means it has evolved to not only go deeper and plant further, but expunge any semen that was deposited earlier, hence its bulbous, bung shape. Evolution takes care of competition that way.

1 1
BeardedLondoner 24

Mate, you didn't HAVE to do it. There's always an alternative option, no matter how unpopular. In this instance you should have taken the ring and destroyed it in front of her while grinning and then politely told her to **** off. I don't think that option would be all that unpopular though. Chin up, pal.

3 19
askullnamedbilly 33

Pretty sure that outside of vindictive shower argument fantasies, that choice would be incredibly unpopular since it would have almost definitely 1. gotten OP fired 2. gotten him sued for destruction of property. But you're right, I'm sure that one brief moment of satisfaction would've totally been worth potentially ruining OP's life over.

17 0
gracehi 31

Just shows she's still hung up on you if she goes out of her way to flaunt her new marriage in front of you while you're at work. And if she's as vindictive and unfaithful as you say, be glad she's not your problem anymore and pity the man she's married. He probably doesn't know what she's really like, but you know better.

21 2