Love: Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a...

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 36 078

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Same thing different taste

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 104

You deserved it 3 664

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 640

You deserved it 4 070

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

By xxx - 03/09/2017 04:29

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 671

You deserved it 531

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 308

By Stephen - 24/03/2012 21:07 - Sweden

Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 291

You deserved it 3 915

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

By locker - 16/09/2010 20:06 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 654

You deserved it 13 758

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 630

You deserved it 19 524

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 18:11 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 406

You deserved it 5 960

batgirl_babygirl 0

Friday 15 April 2011 8:15

just laugh at yourself dude, people like funny people...not lame ass liars

Cmliedtke 0

Friday 15 April 2011 6:07

Whenever anyone tells those bullshit stories its so easy to tell theyre lying..

Comments

xrainbowshadowx 17

Friday 15 April 2011 8:26

I have three words for you: you are lame. Why? Because you're making up a pathetic lie to cover up your anger mishap.

MrleClochard 4

Friday 15 April 2011 8:30

Just be honest. You will make your co-workers have a great time ;-)

TrueStory22 0

Friday 15 April 2011 9:55

Are you the boyfriend that also broke the sink and some other household fixture because your happy meal didn't come with the toy you wanted? YDI: Control your emotions.

stevenmx86 7

Friday 15 April 2011 12:36

I'd day the lack of control door shoving is the most pathetic part.. The others are close seconds...

awesomeloser14 0

Friday 15 April 2011 14:45

You sir, suck That door is cooler than you

xmarkstheheart 0

Friday 15 April 2011 17:38

Oh, definitely making up the story is SO much more pathetic! Why do so many of these FMLs consist of the OP making up a big, dumb (and easily disprovable) lie to cover for something that they could've explained away with a much less outlandish lie?? Why not just say that someone slammed a door open as you were approaching? That way the physical details are the same. Once you make yourself into some big, fake superhero, people are going to call you on it by asking for more details, and your story will surely unravel. You are a fool if you don't learn a lesson from this.

Sgrocks 5

Friday 15 April 2011 18:14

watch your wife come in and use the lie against you

koolbop56 0

Friday 15 April 2011 18:29

spongebob tried that excuse once.

TraceCase_ 19

Friday 15 April 2011 20:58

Just say "You should see the other guy", and leave the rest a mystery. Everyone will think you're a BAMF, instead of picking apart your lie 'til you break.