Miscellaneous: Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital...

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 18:05 - United States - Haslet

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 928

You deserved it 2 617

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Same thing different taste

By zl5 - 04/07/2014 23:17 - New Zealand - Masterton

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 123

You deserved it 4 843

By chieftain - 09/05/2012 19:34 - Norway - T?nsberg

Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 261

You deserved it 5 703

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 21:15 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 531

You deserved it 4 239

Contempt

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 425

You deserved it 1 585

By mustanggt - 10/07/2012 15:39 - United States - La Porte

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 850

You deserved it 31 224

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 202

You deserved it 2 575

Fake news

By Anonymous - 18/07/2014 20:04 - Cura?ao

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 337

You deserved it 3 459

Slip of the tongue

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 10:00

Today, I had to help pick a jury for trial. I had to do a roll call to make sure that everyone was present. I stood up in front of a packed courtroom and said, “Okay, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure that everyone is here and pregnant.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 677

JCS Inspired

By Britters - 25/10/2022 18:00

Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 784

Contempt

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 06:00

Today, I cannot believe my husband. All he had to do was contest a bogus parking ticket but because he's incapable of keeping his fat mouth shut, now he’s going to jail for contempt of court. He will lose his job because of this, guaranteed, and we have two kids to support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 207

AyeJay101 25

Saturday 6 June 2015 8:59

Was that enough to find himself guilty?

mkmon7 21

Saturday 6 June 2015 9:00

There must be a way for you to get off the case if you feel threatened...

Comments

Catbus1 3

Saturday 6 June 2015 9:25

I don't know whether U.S. Law I'd different to ours, but you may want to check you're allowed to make comments on a case for which you're a juror while it's still in progress. People here have been prosecuted for making similar comments online.

MDoremis 38

Saturday 6 June 2015 9:32

You aren't allowed to talk about it until the trial is over in the US as well. A lot of people on FML do belated stories, so hopefully this is the case.

primadonna01 4

Saturday 6 June 2015 13:54

The comment said "today on the jury duty" so it didn't happen years ago.

TheLadyOpal 30

Saturday 6 June 2015 14:15

Every FML story HAS to start with "Today..." So yes, it actually could have been years ago.

botji1 1

Saturday 6 June 2015 16:42

" I believe him." Present tense. OP messed up.

littleking94 14

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:48

No mention of any names, what case, or even where it is.....

littleking94 14

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:50

it has to say today dummy

carlyhammond 7

Sunday 7 June 2015 16:02

Er, it says it was posted from Texas.. So... OP messed up big time.

tlnorman 18

Monday 8 June 2015 7:40

This person is not allowed to discuss the case, they've been instructed not to. This could cause a mistrial this person is a ******* idiot.

MDoremis 38

Saturday 6 June 2015 9:29

Well that's terrifying.

SauceySarah 30

Saturday 6 June 2015 10:15

As a member of the jury, aren't you not allowed to discuss details of the case? Nonetheless, that is really scary and the judge and lawyers should take what he said as a real threat and do something to protect the members of the jury.

protoskore 27

Saturday 6 June 2015 10:49

If there's any way for the court to find out who the anonymous person is, it can be grounds for a mistrial in the US.

migmit 11

Saturday 6 June 2015 11:02

Which might be intentional.

Drnknmonkey08 12

Saturday 6 June 2015 16:42

#25 I believe they can look up an IP address and I'm not quite sure if a phone has the same style of an IP address, but yes it could be grounds for mistrial and the way technology is it could be traced back to the juror(s) in this case

Ms_ValS 27

Saturday 6 June 2015 17:32

OP I think you might not want to divulge details of an ongoing case.. especially something so serious as a murder trial. you basically admitted partiality... so you're willing to let an alleged killer walk free to kill again because you are scared? heck I gotta admit, I'd be terrified too but I don't think you should admit that the threat is what swayed your judgment

lexielou07 18

Saturday 6 June 2015 18:57

A lot of FML's are posted a long time after they actually happened. I hope that's what's going on here, or OP's in big trouble.

stupidpplsuck 33

Saturday 6 June 2015 22:12

it is possible that this case took place a while ago and isn't actually ongoing anymore. all FML's have to be in present tense, so unless we get a follow up we won't know if it is ongoing or not.