Miscellaneous: Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital...

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 18:05 - United States - Haslet

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 928

You deserved it 2 617

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Same thing different taste

By zl5 - 04/07/2014 23:17 - New Zealand - Masterton

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 123

You deserved it 4 843

By chieftain - 09/05/2012 19:34 - Norway - T?nsberg

Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 261

You deserved it 5 703

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 21:15 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 531

You deserved it 4 239

Contempt

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 425

You deserved it 1 585

By mustanggt - 10/07/2012 15:39 - United States - La Porte

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 850

You deserved it 31 224

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 202

You deserved it 2 575

Fake news

By Anonymous - 18/07/2014 20:04 - Cura?ao

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 337

You deserved it 3 459

Slip of the tongue

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 10:00

Today, I had to help pick a jury for trial. I had to do a roll call to make sure that everyone was present. I stood up in front of a packed courtroom and said, “Okay, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure that everyone is here and pregnant.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 677

JCS Inspired

By Britters - 25/10/2022 18:00

Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 784

Contempt

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 06:00

Today, I cannot believe my husband. All he had to do was contest a bogus parking ticket but because he's incapable of keeping his fat mouth shut, now he’s going to jail for contempt of court. He will lose his job because of this, guaranteed, and we have two kids to support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 207

AyeJay101 25

Saturday 6 June 2015 8:59

Was that enough to find himself guilty?

mkmon7 21

Saturday 6 June 2015 9:00

There must be a way for you to get off the case if you feel threatened...

Comments

cynthianicole95 9

Saturday 6 June 2015 18:16

You do realize that you aren't supposed to talk about the case at all outside of the courthouse?

SoulTermination 3

Saturday 6 June 2015 18:39

Shit like this posting is exactly why I think that juries should be professionals, not random yahoos of the street. God, I hope that murderer doesn't walk because of this, if he's guilty. You idiot.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 6 June 2015 18:50

Well he'll be behind bars and then maybe a restraining order wouldn't be a bad idea either

jack67_fml 14

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:09

lol, but u should respect people, and not call them s**t bages, he's accused of murder not found guilty yet, also don't let what he said affect your decision on wether he is guilty or not, if you let emotion or hatred affect how you vote, then that's an unfair trial

curiouslilbird 19

Saturday 6 June 2015 19:29

I agree that a jury member should try to be as impartial as possible while determining guilt or innocence. However, shouting a death threat at the jury while being tried rather reduces the probability that the defendant is innocent, and it certainly makes the OP's comments about the defendant understandable. I'd be surprised if they let the trial continue after that!