By chieftain - 09/05/2012 19:34 - Norway - T?nsberg

Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
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You deserved it 5 699
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Top comments

Glitterhinoceros 14

You're defending her, do all the talking and tape her mouth shut or something. That doesn't look suspicious at all.

357 9
asdaasdaasda 1

Well, at least your being professional- oh no wait...

191 6

Comments

Glitterhinoceros 14

You're defending her, do all the talking and tape her mouth shut or something. That doesn't look suspicious at all.

357 9
muzy 23

I pretty much aggression with what #1 said. Also, if they accuse you of anything OP just say " I never broke the law! I am the law!"

2 43
jtthegr8 26

Suspicious would be hypnotizing her to talk like a robot and make sure she doesn't say anything stupid e.o

4 21
muzy 23

edit: agree. God damn the inventor of predictive texts !!!!

7 23
uJelly24 1

When you say love you mean love love or she's my client love?

35 0
fromthesuck 8

Wait isn't this an episode of Boston legal?

19 5
RaggleFrock 13

A lawyer with a guilty conscience.... What kind of sorcery is this?

51 1
skullofdarkness 18

Nahh, just give her some Elmer's "lip gloss" and you should be good. Just make sure it's non-toxic.

16 0
ohSNAPyall 26

Then advise her as you would another client. If she's not going to win, maybe you can negotiate a plea on her behalf.

1 0
xRBKCrOsBy87x 0

**** Ovechkin! Long live Crosby! Teehee c:

1 2
BassGirl 5

Do you regularly fall in love with guilty clients? Or is she a special case?

48 100
olpally 32

You should just defend her op, and do your job to the fullest extent of the law... You may love her, but is she worth it? Fyl buddy

25 4
esines 9

Maybe it's his good friend he loves or girlfriend or wife?

1 24
Zomg_Okay 26

35 - That's unlikely from the wording of the FML.

19 1
foreverhurt 6

2 — She's innocent until proven guilty.

31 2
GODert 8

Especially in Norway, has anyone seen the trial of the guy who killed those 66 people to stop Muslims coming into Europe?

0 0
MysticKnight 3

74 - you are guilty until proven innocent you noob

1 44
cheetahbaby96 8

109- You sir, are an idiot.

23 3
starbucksguy 16

109 kind of has a point, as a law was passed in Norway recently stating that for hate crimes, Norwegians are guilty until proven innocent. This, however, is not a hate crime so 109 is wrong. Noob.

4 1
esines 9

How does the wording make it unlikely?

0 5
Zomg_Okay 26

"and the first person I've loved in years" I doubt it's a good friend because that sentence implies romantic love, not friends love. It's also unlikely to be a wife or girlfriend because the sentence also implies is he fell in love with the accused recently.

7 0
SqueakyChipmunk 21

Judging from the thumbs, I'm guessing people don't think op(a lawyer) has a conscience. Either that, or I'm missing something. I'm probably missing something.

20 5
frokeyman92 9

Us men don't have a conscious.. Just a penis

5 46
THE_A_TEEN 27

I'm a guy, and I have a conscience. WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME?!

31 3
psuedodragon 23

I think its more a case of people saying a lawyer's conscience can't get in the way of doing their job. If you're hired to defend somebody you defend them to the best of your ability, within the limits of the law....because truthfully, the law has nothing to do with your conscience and everything to do with arbitrary legal paramaters for acceptable societal behaviour.

21 0
bitter3ulogy 0

#48 A real man

28 4
Sniper3000 0

29 I think you're missing something cuz I'm a guy and I have a conscience

8 2
raiganator 10

Because **** you, thats why.

29 1
downtime 12

63, That's only if you accept that paradigm. Many of us put our own sense of morality above the law, and while this would make someone technically a bad lawyer, it does make them a good person - which is a far greater thing to be. Best legal practice =/= best practice.

6 2
asdaasdaasda 1

Well, at least your being professional- oh no wait...

191 6
muzy 23

39- That's what happens when you try to correct someone in a haste. Epic fail.

3 79
DocBastard 38

No muzy, that's what happens when Calyx says something entirely sarcastic and it goes over your head.

92 2
muzy 23

Really ? and here I was thinking that they were genuinely trying to correct #4. Sarcasm is very difficult to pick up over the internet :/

11 54
GoDieRetard 0

You must be a shitty lawyer, you know you have a conflict of interest in this case you numbskull

2 9
syki 22

Actually, no. A judge or juror would, but a lawyer is supposed to want his client to win anyway. Hence why spouses, friends, and family members often represent each other. Numbskull.

3 1
THE_A_TEEN 27

Just look at they guy's username. Obviously he's not going to learn and will still insult people like OP without proper knowledge.

1 0
PawnShopPenguin 4

just tell the jury she is insane and has no clue what she is talking about!

6 56
ganjaranja 10

Yea, cuz that sure would make the jury real eager to acquit her.

24 0
dc4 12

The insanity defense for perjury?

14 2
ladyLALAA 28

They need to get BD Wong from Law and Order and work on a good psyche defense!

4 1
muzy 23

whatever you do op make sure you say "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH" you'll definetly win !

96 3
torch433 1

dang tht sux :/ FYL

4 37
navik23 6

Really? It should be an FML or something.

3 1
KriiFahMoro 9

What goes through people's minds when they post idiotic comments like this? You'd think they would already know that it's on FML for a reason...

1 1