Work: Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard... - FML

By ewewew - 24/09/2009 22:10 - United States

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 440

You deserved it 4 832

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 375

You deserved it 13 546

The name of that old man?

By thisblows - 11/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 191

You deserved it 5 579

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 867

You deserved it 8 903

By yuck - 09/12/2018 03:30 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 627

You deserved it 244

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 182

You deserved it 2 141

By whoops - 09/07/2014 05:38 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 750

You deserved it 20 162

By fml...really - 27/11/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 473

You deserved it 4 117

By Anonymous - 20/08/2019 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was refereeing at a kids' soccer tournament and a deer ran across one of the fields. Some of the parents then claimed that a deer on the field meant a free kick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 126

By haileyjunkin - 22/11/2011 17:53

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 641

You deserved it 3 307

Riot!

By gmnesbitt - 07/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 998

You deserved it 2 567

Next

Top comments

boomlol 0

Friday 25 September 2009 1:39

he didnt make you.... and learn the words "**** you"

Rhodacious1 0

Friday 25 September 2009 1:37

EW...

Comments

um_duh 0

Friday 25 September 2009 2:16

YDI for being a jock asshole and not spending enough time in English class. Learn to spell noob

cbadbeachbabe 0

Friday 25 September 2009 3:07

what did he spell wrong??

TheLetterZero 7

Friday 25 September 2009 4:14

Apparently, um_duh says that the OP can't spell "noob". That, or um_duh can't use punctuation correctly.

missmollylynn 0

Friday 25 September 2009 4:21

um_duh, you're a ******* idiot. he didn't misspell anything. before you go and try to insult someone, make sure they actually did something wrong, you ignorant ****.

andyroxs 2

Friday 25 September 2009 14:32

The OP is a girl. Plus, playing field hockey doesnt mean youre a jock.

jazinatorr 0

Friday 25 September 2009 2:21

ewww that's so gross. did the reflections not notice?

jonny2x4 0

Friday 25 September 2009 2:24

Why wouldn't they let you rinse it off with a water bottle?

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 25 September 2009 2:27

Put that shit back in yer mouth and pretend like they be sum pimpin' grillz, foo'.

doggie3 0

Friday 25 September 2009 2:36

That happened to me at my field hocky game but with dog poo. Did he let you clean it off, though? Cuz my ref did.

OneSadGuy 3

Friday 25 September 2009 2:37

You know referees these days. All these strange fetishes. Clearly he had a think for shit stained teeth. May I recommend Colgate?

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 25 September 2009 2:44

*cue British accent* Dirty mouth? Clean it upp with Orrbit!

KristinSpencer 0

Friday 25 September 2009 2:53

#37 You just made my night.

ThaMC 0

Friday 25 September 2009 2:40

ydi for playing field hockey. But that does suck

kaelendra 0

Friday 25 September 2009 2:42

rules are there for a reason... you had a hard choice either put it back in or don't play.

moopsy234 0

Friday 25 September 2009 2:44

mannnnn that's y I always carry hot scauce in my cup!!! for that reaon exactly!!!! WHHHHHOOOHOOO AND reply "I'm sexy" to this!!!!

kaelendra 0

Friday 25 September 2009 2:45

I love how all these peeps are acting like the refs evil - which um no. it's a legality thing to wear one and the red wouldve let a player wipe it first with their tunic or rinse with their water bottle.

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The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 783

You deserved it 480

Today, we had a blindfold trust activity we had to do at university. While walking around with my hands up blindfolded, like the Walking Dead, I accidentally grabbed my young lecturer by both her breasts. We never spoke about it, just felt awkward around each other afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 161

Today, after my boyfriend used to tell me that, with his demanding job, he just didn’t have the time or energy for a meaningful conversation with me. Thanks to COVID, he works 90% less now, finding time for online college, cooking and new furniture, yet didn’t invest even one extra minute into our couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 275

Today, it's my birthday and I'd planned to take my family and friends to dinner with my own money. My mom just informed me that she'd messaged everyone that I'd canceled the dinner. She instead wants to use my money to buy my older brother a gun for his birthday, which is in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 361

You deserved it 2 211

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 589

You deserved it 7 617

Today, my friend and I got back from a vacation, for which we both took time off work and coordinated. He didn’t want to do anything besides stay in the cabin and play video games. We went on a half-mile walk and that's about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 131