Miscellaneous: Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs,...

By Gustav Fjorder - 04/07/2011 07:27 - Switzerland

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 884

You deserved it 10 342

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Same thing different taste

Man's gotta have his biscuit

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 88

Filling

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 06:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 676

You deserved it 30 606

By themcdave - 19/05/2012 08:03 - United Kingdom - Cranfield

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 597

You deserved it 4 553

By still hungry - 21/04/2012 13:04 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 326

You deserved it 4 158

Parenting struggles

By Aniel85 - 22/11/2021 20:01

Today, after I worked 15 hours yesterday, coming home at 1 a.m. thinking I could sleep in because my kids have no school, I was woken up at 7 a.m. because they wanted pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 263

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 577

You deserved it 3 080

FEED ME

By Anonymous - 05/01/2021 23:02

Today, I woke up in a military hospital, after having all four wisdom teeth out yesterday. A nurse came in with a breakfast trolley full of eggs and bacon, looks at my pleading face, looks at her clipboard and says, "Only non-solid foods for you, private." FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 150

Invisible Woman

By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 00:01

Today, I accidentally overslept and missed a morning breakfast at work, one I never get to have when it happens. Not only did my boss say nothing about me being absent, he even asked me if the food was good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 392

Breakfast of champions

By Ana - 14/05/2023 06:00

Today, my mom had me and my little brother make pancakes for breakfast. I had to let the dog out of the house to go do his business, so I had my little brother wait there and told him not to touch anything. I came back 5 minutes later, and there were cracked eggs in the almost-done batter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 185

By FoodNeeded - 25/08/2016 02:24 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 562

You deserved it 2 053

kyjp 0

Monday 4 July 2011 16:07

next time, get an alarm clock

Livinia 11

Monday 4 July 2011 16:15

Damn.. makes me hungry just reading that.

Comments

jessamy_brit 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 4:45

brownies for breakfast? unnnhealthy!

diandra_5ive 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:20

got yu ****** up

rat3dxx 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 6:35

ouch lol

jaynedough 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 6:48

Man. What fat, gluttonous pigs they are!

jaynedough 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 6:54

I'd rather miss out on a brekkie like this than be a boring mofo. Seriously who sets their alarm for breakfast anyway?

SleepOnStones 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 8:35

Would you rather the house be on fire and no one bother to wake you up? Jesus, it's just food! Jk, I'd probably be a bit upset too. FYL.

couturegirl2 7

Tuesday 5 July 2011 8:54

aw. poor you. your life is so hard.

tifa_14 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 9:08

could be worse. you "could be a starving Ethiope or policeman in Bagdad! policeman in Bagdad! Bagdad!" ...or you could be dead...

Suburban_Dude 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 9:14

MAKE YOUR OWN GODDAMN BREAKFAST!! God, kids these days, can't even slaughter and cook their own pigs.

dennis96411 12

Thursday 7 July 2011 19:39

Should I do that before or after I go back to China?

Kendrax0x 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 9:49

shattered :(

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The Top

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 76

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 804

The Top

Today, my mom caught me absentmindedly staring at my puppy's butthole. She'd also been standing there for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 1 980

Today, my family and I were just about to leave the house for the vacation that I had been saving up for 3 years. I was coming down the stairs with a heavy suitcase and I tripped and fell breaking my leg, now my family's gone without me while I'm in hospital. I paid for the vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 629

You deserved it 3 832

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 065

You deserved it 58 913

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 535

You deserved it 3 808

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 128

You deserved it 3 389

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 359

You deserved it 3 812