Miscellaneous: Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs,...

By Gustav Fjorder - 04/07/2011 07:27 - Switzerland

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 884

You deserved it 10 342

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Man's gotta have his biscuit

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 88

Filling

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 06:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 676

You deserved it 30 606

By themcdave - 19/05/2012 08:03 - United Kingdom - Cranfield

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 597

You deserved it 4 553

By still hungry - 21/04/2012 13:04 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 326

You deserved it 4 158

Parenting struggles

By Aniel85 - 22/11/2021 20:01

Today, after I worked 15 hours yesterday, coming home at 1 a.m. thinking I could sleep in because my kids have no school, I was woken up at 7 a.m. because they wanted pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 263

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 577

You deserved it 3 080

FEED ME

By Anonymous - 05/01/2021 23:02

Today, I woke up in a military hospital, after having all four wisdom teeth out yesterday. A nurse came in with a breakfast trolley full of eggs and bacon, looks at my pleading face, looks at her clipboard and says, "Only non-solid foods for you, private." FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 150

Invisible Woman

By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 00:01

Today, I accidentally overslept and missed a morning breakfast at work, one I never get to have when it happens. Not only did my boss say nothing about me being absent, he even asked me if the food was good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 392

Breakfast of champions

By Ana - 14/05/2023 06:00

Today, my mom had me and my little brother make pancakes for breakfast. I had to let the dog out of the house to go do his business, so I had my little brother wait there and told him not to touch anything. I came back 5 minutes later, and there were cracked eggs in the almost-done batter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 185

By FoodNeeded - 25/08/2016 02:24 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 562

You deserved it 2 053

kyjp 0

Monday 4 July 2011 16:07

next time, get an alarm clock

Livinia 11

Monday 4 July 2011 16:15

Damn.. makes me hungry just reading that.

Comments

MeBeYourFriend 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 9:58

how the hell is this an FML. **** your Life over food? What the hell!

MeBeYourFriend 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 9:58

how the hell is this an FML. **** your Life over food? What the hell!

mairelys 21

Tuesday 5 July 2011 10:10

#firstworldproblems

randomme1 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 11:14

that's cuz ur whinny

Illyssa_fml 4

Tuesday 5 July 2011 11:21

There was none left after either?? FYL!

howdmynosego 12

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:05

well if there fat ofcourse they won't wake you up.

tacovingtonboy 10

Tuesday 5 July 2011 14:45

u should have woken up!!!!

pip74205 9

Tuesday 5 July 2011 16:22

You snooze you lose!

HunterAlpha1 8

Tuesday 5 July 2011 23:20

damit, i was just about to say that! :P

tacoman007 2

Wednesday 6 July 2011 0:02

I hope you like prison food... And penis.

RSimpson 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:28

I think ur lieing or u got leftovers or something... Just to make up hungry. fml?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 530

You deserved it 45 198

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 064

You deserved it 5 144

The Top

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 455

You deserved it 4 040

Today, I was at a wedding reception. Everyone got offended when I threw my hands up and backed off to avoid catching the garter and let the two guys on either side fight for it. Nothing but laughs for the cousin who grabbed the bouquet out of someone else's hand and punched her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 109

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 682

You deserved it 5 852

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 373

You deserved it 3 363

Today, I stumbled across my school bully on Facebook. She's a successful business owner and engaged to be married. I can't land a job and am hopelessly single. The b***h that served as the catalyst for my depression and suffered no repercussions is getting married on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 118

You deserved it 727

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 761

You deserved it 3 634