Miscellaneous: Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished....

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 889

You deserved it 24 112

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:11 - United States - Ames

Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 461

You deserved it 1 781

By handyjon - 01/03/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 899

You deserved it 16 841

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 4 995

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 088

You deserved it 3 622

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 250

You deserved it 3 237

By lookwhereyasittin - 24/01/2016 17:47 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 932

You deserved it 6 615

Pig in shit

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 14:00

Today, after leaving for a two-week-trip, and thinking this time my mom would finally have no choice but to clean the dirty toilet herself for once, because I’ve been doing it the entire year, along with most other chores, I think you can guess what I did first thing upon my return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 147

Back to square one

By HomeChump - 28/09/2016 05:49 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was so proud I'd fixed the toilet with a hardware store part without even having to call a plumber. As I happily put the lid back on the tank, I dropped the lid, which broke the tank, spilling water everywhere. Now I need a new toilet, a new floor, and I have to call the plumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 170

You deserved it 2 605

Ain't it funky

By Anonymous - 05/12/2011 00:40 - United States

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 238

You deserved it 49 183

By Alex - 01/03/2019 16:00

Today, marks three weeks since I started my new dream job. It also marks the second time this week alone that I've clogged the toilet in the restroom. I'm almost 100% sure all my coworkers know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 656

WavinFlag 3

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:53

just cuzz they are changing it doesnt really mean its broken...maybe they want the soft ones...

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:10

It didn't say she broke it

Comments

onthetoilet 3

Thursday 19 May 2011 15:09

I won't quit your day job

onthetoilet 3

Thursday 19 May 2011 15:09

I won't quit your day job

MikieLem 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 15:34

congratulation..!! im proud of u op..hahahaha

doubleodoggy 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 16:30

good for you!

Capt_Oblivious 10

Thursday 19 May 2011 16:57

Congrats, you earned a 'throne'.

VioletRayOfSunsh 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 18:51

I'd be proud too...:/

suprmidgt 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 20:00

maybe she got one of those cushy ones. not being able to replace it though, that's bad. if you were a guy I'd say don't breed.

e2m2cent 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 20:26

u deserve a cookie :)

Sgrocks 5

Thursday 19 May 2011 22:11

this isn't really an fml it's more like an mlia I guess

baconboy_42 8

Friday 20 May 2011 2:38

Good for you! Can you change your own oil, too?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 795

You deserved it 113 124

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year-old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 040

You deserved it 7 444

The Top

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 329

You deserved it 3 569

Today, I was walking down the street and noticed a man in ripped clothes with a cup out asking for money. I was on my way to the movies but I felt like this man needed it more that me. Right as I gave it to him, he pulled out his blackberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 459

You deserved it 17 800

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 009

You deserved it 6 083

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 831

You deserved it 3 394

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 174

You deserved it 2 929

Today, I caught my best and only friend snooping in my sister's underwear drawer. I don’t know if I should tell on him, or pretend it didn’t happen. What do I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 140