Miscellaneous: Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished.... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 885

You deserved it 24 109

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:11 - United States - Ames

Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 458

You deserved it 1 778

By handyjon - 01/03/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 894

You deserved it 16 841

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 086

You deserved it 3 619

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 246

You deserved it 3 234

By lookwhereyasittin - 24/01/2016 17:47 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 931

You deserved it 6 612

Pig in shit

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 14:00

Today, after leaving for a two-week-trip, and thinking this time my mom would finally have no choice but to clean the dirty toilet herself for once, because I’ve been doing it the entire year, along with most other chores, I think you can guess what I did first thing upon my return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 145

Back to square one

By HomeChump - 28/09/2016 05:49 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was so proud I'd fixed the toilet with a hardware store part without even having to call a plumber. As I happily put the lid back on the tank, I dropped the lid, which broke the tank, spilling water everywhere. Now I need a new toilet, a new floor, and I have to call the plumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 165

You deserved it 2 600

Ain't it funky

By Anonymous - 05/12/2011 00:40 - United States

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 238

You deserved it 49 178

By Alex - 01/03/2019 16:00

Today, marks three weeks since I started my new dream job. It also marks the second time this week alone that I've clogged the toilet in the restroom. I'm almost 100% sure all my coworkers know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 650

Next

Top comments

WavinFlag 3

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:53

just cuzz they are changing it doesnt really mean its broken...maybe they want the soft ones...

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:10

It didn't say she broke it

Comments

bubblekitty 1

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:22

it's amazing what people can do when they TRY

alaskasfml 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 13:16

considering the fact it says "i finally figured out how to change a toilet seat" common sense can only lead us to the assumption- they have been trying.

Livinia 11

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:23

Well good on you :)

techweed 12

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:29

With your brain capabilities, that's probably gonna be your highest accomplishment

california283 6

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:39

you go glen coco

NYC_Yoshi 3

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:42

why is this garbage an fml?

nocarehere 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 10:02

Sounds like a shitty situation!

IBeBlazin 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 10:08

No man stfu right now with damn shitty situation jokes, they're ******* annoying and don't even really apply to this FML.

teresa96706 29

Thursday 19 May 2011 10:05

good job :) I don't know how to change a toliet seat.

RainbowHeadache 2

Thursday 19 May 2011 10:16

Our toilet seat has fallen off without any help, so I don't see how it's so hard to take one off. If you have that much trouble figuring out how to change a toilet seat then you need to just go back into the kitchen. It's dangerous for us women folk to try & fix things.

ChantelRenaeee 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 11:11

congratulations, you may now move on to second grade.

Carlo3 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 11:29

good now I know who to call.kol

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, my best friend called me a slut during an argument, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. She lost her virginity at 13 years-old, and all four of her kids have a different dad. When I mentioned it, she gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 152

The Top

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 1 321

Today, at the office, I was walking towards a blind man who works in another department. When I realized our paths would collide, I called out that I was on his right because we'd received an email from HR that said this would help him. I was actually on his left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 3 678

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 373

You deserved it 4 301

Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 814

You deserved it 3 547

Today, my boyfriend renewed his driver's license and showed me the picture. I told him he needed to go back because they'd put the wrong birthdate. Turns out the idiot forgot he’s been lying to me about his age the whole time we’ve been together. He’s not actually 30. He’ll be 43 in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 795

You deserved it 503

Today, I found out while pet-sitting that a white cat is no easier to see in the dark than a black cat. I also found out that this particular cat doesn't take kindly to being accidentally kicked, even if it wasn't that hard. My feet have seen better days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 298