Miscellaneous: Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished.... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 885

You deserved it 24 109

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:11 - United States - Ames

Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 458

You deserved it 1 778

By handyjon - 01/03/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 894

You deserved it 16 841

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 086

You deserved it 3 619

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 246

You deserved it 3 234

By lookwhereyasittin - 24/01/2016 17:47 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 931

You deserved it 6 612

Pig in shit

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 14:00

Today, after leaving for a two-week-trip, and thinking this time my mom would finally have no choice but to clean the dirty toilet herself for once, because I’ve been doing it the entire year, along with most other chores, I think you can guess what I did first thing upon my return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 145

Back to square one

By HomeChump - 28/09/2016 05:49 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was so proud I'd fixed the toilet with a hardware store part without even having to call a plumber. As I happily put the lid back on the tank, I dropped the lid, which broke the tank, spilling water everywhere. Now I need a new toilet, a new floor, and I have to call the plumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 165

You deserved it 2 600

Ain't it funky

By Anonymous - 05/12/2011 00:40 - United States

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 238

You deserved it 49 178

By Alex - 01/03/2019 16:00

Today, marks three weeks since I started my new dream job. It also marks the second time this week alone that I've clogged the toilet in the restroom. I'm almost 100% sure all my coworkers know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 650

Next

Top comments

WavinFlag 3

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:53

just cuzz they are changing it doesnt really mean its broken...maybe they want the soft ones...

Valentina_Baby 7

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:10

It didn't say she broke it

Comments

koenigsegg44 2

Friday 20 May 2011 4:07

try gutting and rebuilding a toilet from the ground up ( without getting soaked)

lexi365 20

Friday 20 May 2011 5:29

I haven't laugh this much in a long time. Thanks!

imredheehee123 1

Friday 20 May 2011 6:36

your life is really going down the drain! get it? it took me a while to come up with that one. ha i really crack myself up so i really shouldn't judge you.

iloveyou71 0

Friday 20 May 2011 7:01

haha this sounds stupid, but go try to change a toilet seat.. deffiantly not as easy as it seems haha.

liv4444 0

Friday 20 May 2011 7:13

•HIGH•FIVE• =>

jess6blondie9 2

Friday 20 May 2011 7:34

Wow... Just, wow.

JayJay1995 1

Friday 20 May 2011 15:21

me too

thygerson 0

Friday 20 May 2011 15:28

next step light bulb changing 101

amyfiene2269 3

Saturday 21 May 2011 0:39

I think it's sad how we all have fml accounts, our lives must be pretty ******

amyfiene2269 3

Saturday 21 May 2011 0:41

I think it's sad how we all have fml accounts, our lives must be pretty ******

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The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with a cute, funny, smart, amazing girl. Or at least I thought she was cute, until she started coughing after her meal. She explained that she coughs after she eats. Can you say dealbreaker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 742

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 967

You deserved it 29 847

The Top

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 021

You deserved it 5 884

Today, like I've had for what seems like the past year, I have the Skibidi Toilet song playing in my brain. If you don't know what that is, don't look it up. My boyfriend isn't helping because he keeps singing the "YES YES" part. I can't escape my intrusive thoughts. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 130

Today, I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report, I found out that instead of saying, "Thank you" I'd said, "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting a $150 bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 315

You deserved it 3 011

Today, I was changing my tampon in a public toilet. When I threw away the used one and opened a new one, it turned out that it had no thread on it! I took another one out. Again, defective! It was the last one I had with me, and it was the second day of my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 187

You deserved it 196

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 590

You deserved it 4 538

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 407

You deserved it 19 389