Health: Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't... - FML

By halfasleep - 27/03/2012 14:00 - United States - New Haven

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 680

You deserved it 14 682

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 690

But… why?

By Fmylife - 06/07/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 258

You deserved it 120 990

Rushed

By K.Trinity - 15/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 445

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 952

You deserved it 365

By anon - 20/06/2014 05:06 - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 345

You deserved it 24 742

By Username - 09/05/2011 17:23 - China

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 237

You deserved it 10 551

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 884

You deserved it 4 466

By Anonymous - 13/08/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 332

You deserved it 56 153

By knighton16 - 17/07/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 142

You deserved it 58 663

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 1 279

Next

Top comments

akallaan 7

Tuesday 27 March 2012 18:51

Like a boss or a homeless man.

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:23

My moth died, please like my comment; it's what he would've wanted :(

Comments

lissa_jade 22

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:07

sorry for party rockin ?

lemonsquid 6

Thursday 29 March 2012 13:15

Wtf

supahcoolperson 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:09

Bahahaha I've done that b4, sucks doesn't it? but I ddnt throw up, but it was pretty nasty lol that's the moment when you know uve been drinking too much lately lmao

G0odgrief 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:35

sweet mercy, enable spell check in your browser settings.

boydeee01 7

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:41

I don't think he spelled anything wrong, besides the things he shortened. But, yes I agree.

sexiSugarplum 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:21

Who cares how she/he writes. At least u can understand it & it saves a few seconds

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:37

Who cares? I care. Anyone who doesn't want to read gibberish cares. It saves a few seconds? Really? I timed it, and typing "uve" instead of "you've" saves 0.21 seconds. Believe it or not, grammar is still important.

G0odgrief 0

Wednesday 28 March 2012 0:28

It doesn't seem like a big deal but it's a terrible habit that will bite you in the ass when you type like that for work or school without even realizing it.

lifes_a_b1tch 7

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:28

Apparently you drink too much.

G0odgrief 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:31

what part of accidentally do people not understand?

Zomg_Okay 26

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:43

The whole word. :(

Birdie_Sage 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:02

Oh! I didn't know that word was used in the FML until I saw your comment!

G0odgrief 0

Wednesday 28 March 2012 0:10

I find it helpful to read the FML before replying, perhaps you should give it a try

briasia 5

Saturday 31 March 2012 18:35

-_-

vol4life 6

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:35

Shots shots shots shots

Shelta957 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 22:02

EVERYBODY!!!

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:35

Maybe you vomited because your roommate spits the used mouthwash back into the bottle.

boydeee01 7

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:43

Oh god, that FML. :-O ~

micahsmommy 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:45

Ugh grossed out all over again. Thanks for the reminder Doc. :p

joecrv 2

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:55

Hahaha I think that's what happened. Hopefully his roommate is Megan Fox.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 27 March 2012 23:02

Megan Fox is overrated.

ankoku 2

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:44

Wrong type of alcohol..

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 27 March 2012 23:55

Have you ever tried methanol op?

ipwnallmen 10

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:58

ouch. imagine trying to swallow the rest of the day following that.

theonlysweetpea 10

Tuesday 27 March 2012 19:58

That's ok. Too bad it came back up though. Gotta hold your alcohol better than that to hang with me! lol

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 27 March 2012 23:59

Rule #1 If you are going to puke, DON'T puke in my car!

barbieee420 1

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:12

U should have took a shot of actual alcohol instead of mouth wash. Desspperet much?

haycassidy 7

Tuesday 27 March 2012 22:03

Accidentally - adv: without intention.

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

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You deserved it 403

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 17 457

You deserved it 43 785

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I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 75

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I agree, your life sucks 26 784

You deserved it 1 829

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I agree, your life sucks 28 816

You deserved it 2 443

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 5 820

Today, after months of looking, my fiancé and I finally signed a lease. We are using my savings to pay for it. This apparently poses a "moral dilemma" for my in-laws, who think we should wait to be married. I'm paying for an apartment I'm not allowed to live in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 602

You deserved it 6 314