Health: Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't... - FML

By halfasleep - 27/03/2012 14:00 - United States - New Haven

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 680

You deserved it 14 682

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 690

But… why?

By Fmylife - 06/07/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 258

You deserved it 120 990

Rushed

By K.Trinity - 15/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 445

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 952

You deserved it 365

By anon - 20/06/2014 05:06 - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 345

You deserved it 24 742

By Username - 09/05/2011 17:23 - China

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 237

You deserved it 10 551

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 884

You deserved it 4 466

By Anonymous - 13/08/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 332

You deserved it 56 153

By knighton16 - 17/07/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 142

You deserved it 58 663

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 1 279

Next

Top comments

akallaan 7

Tuesday 27 March 2012 18:51

Like a boss or a homeless man.

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:23

My moth died, please like my comment; it's what he would've wanted :(

Comments

Vertas 10

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:16

Either really desperate for alcohol or really well practiced and still hungover. lol

ezelisko 1

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:23

at least it came back up smelling better then normal.

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:24

I vote for "coming back up" because you now have stomach acid eating at your esophagus and mouth. OP, are you keeping track of the votes? Do I have a chance at a prize if I'm on the winning "team." Go Team Coming Up! Crush Team Going Down.

omgcookeys 15

Wednesday 28 March 2012 8:29

Team going down is going down.

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:31

Apparently, that isnt the only thing you've ever taken as a shot… Try cutting back on the alcohol. :)

curleyQ97 9

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:32

alcoholic much?

muffinXmonster 12

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:43

Your vomit now smells minty fresh

starwind3438 9

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:54

This proves you drink too much.

canucks92 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 21:18

Why would you do that lol

silentblack 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 21:58

U took it like a champ

simply4brillianc_fml 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 22:00

chunks...

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The Top

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 852

You deserved it 1 042

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 818

You deserved it 4 306

The Top

Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 778

You deserved it 3 977

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 872

You deserved it 4 512

Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 330

You deserved it 2 697

Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 945

You deserved it 10 316

Today, my boyfriend said to me, in front of his friends, “Can you stop breaking out into song all the time? It’s getting really annoying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 851

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 250

You deserved it 8 389