Intimacy: Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend....

By Anonymous - 12/09/2010 16:56 - United States

Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 10 317

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Same thing different taste

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 054

You deserved it 5 469

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 1 224

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 10:06 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 20 723

Tense dinner

By bittenbyadonkey - 28/01/2011 17:23 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 279

You deserved it 3 577

Randy old bird

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 676

You deserved it 2 772

Dad jokes!

By Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 516

You deserved it 5 325

Weird flex, but OK

By incestastic - 14/08/2010 23:23 - Canada

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 480

You deserved it 3 067

By un_christmas - 25/12/2012 06:41 - Malaysia - Petaling Jaya

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 239

You deserved it 4 255

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 862

You deserved it 401

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

chili10 18

Sunday 12 September 2010 23:42

I told my mom that same thing except she told me that if she ever saw him again she would cut his balls off..

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Monday 13 September 2010 0:18

"Let's see, we've got lasagna, seafood, you're going to burn in Hell for ******* my daughter, enchiladas, tacos, pizza, and steak! Take you're pick."

Comments

mrsm13 11

Monday 13 September 2010 1:19

lol love you too mom XD

wonderful_wendy 0

Monday 13 September 2010 1:20

wait till your father finds out. He's gonna be dead.

kaylovely 0

Monday 13 September 2010 1:23

bipolar

epic94 0

Monday 13 September 2010 1:59

lol, at least you can walk away knowing your no longer a virgin xD

boopityboppity 11

Monday 13 September 2010 2:12

Again, it's not a disease of which people should be cured.

Spastastic 6

Monday 13 September 2010 2:22

But boopity... what if it is? And is it fatal? Am I dying??

boopityboppity 11

Monday 13 September 2010 2:38

Oh, you're dying anyway. Sorry, but you spazzed to much. You thought that tea tasted of bitter almonds, didn't you?

Spastastic 6

Monday 13 September 2010 2:39

Holy crap. I JUST drank a cup of tea. Seriously, I'm not joking.

boopityboppity 11

Monday 13 September 2010 2:43

*Puts down binoculars* I know. *Puts on best Jason Bourne voice* Get some sleep. You look tired.

Spastastic 6

Monday 13 September 2010 2:57

I... I am tired, actually... But then, I'm tired all the time.

boopityboppity 11

Monday 13 September 2010 3:07

Cyanide often tastes of bitter almonds.

smurf1 0

Monday 13 September 2010 6:43

I bet she poisoned his food! and by the way epic94 is hot

Cinn_fml 22

Monday 13 September 2010 15:49

I'm not sure about tasting, but only half the population can actually smell cyanide.

Dudeitsnuri 0

Monday 13 September 2010 2:37

haha I love double standards when my bestfriend told his dad that he slept with his gf. he hi5ed him and gave him 200$ to take us out to celebrate. lol