Love: Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween....

By Anonymous - 27/10/2014 06:01 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 010

You deserved it 5 185

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By gutsforme - 11/08/2010 10:40 - New Zealand

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 388

You deserved it 4 486

By Janie - 10/01/2012 05:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 566

You deserved it 4 018

By hunting7waves - 25/09/2015 05:31 - United States - Des Moines

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 725

You deserved it 1 893

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 02:42 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at Halloween costumes online for this year's Halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 528

You deserved it 3 907

By what even - 14/05/2015 22:17 - United States - Athens

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 4 854

By lhazel - 17/09/2015 02:36 - United States - Mount Juliet

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 253

You deserved it 2 091

By readytomingle - 15/07/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 084

You deserved it 42 401

By Rejected. - 22/11/2009 17:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 395

You deserved it 3 942

By klv8 - 07/02/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 720

You deserved it 3 561

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:51 - United States - Seattle

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 169

You deserved it 2 448

OceanMinded 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 12:04

ouch.

kemolegend907 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 12:08

3, don't be sexist, a lot of girls do that kind of shit too

Comments

georggx 3

Wednesday 27 October 2010 12:22

screw his best friend.

overkill_78 4

Wednesday 27 October 2010 12:25

How exactly is breaking up with someone shallow?

maphineRAWRS 10

Wednesday 27 October 2010 14:08

breaking up with them like that is, unless you think that's the right way to treat someone, in which case, goodluck finding a decent girlfriend, haha

gaarraa11 3

Wednesday 27 October 2010 12:42

Dam lol

MzKitty83 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 19:58

The correct spelling is " damn"

sassington10 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 12:44

he sounds so clever. lol. your bf wins

Hard_Luck_Aussie 4

Wednesday 27 October 2010 21:50

you mean her X WINS!

beachblondeex13 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 12:52

Wiin!

MrOneUpper 2

Thursday 7 June 2012 14:28

losee!

KennKenn 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 12:58

Wow, thats scary

Evan2297 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 13:05

Certainly scary.

labratory5 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 13:12

damn that ****** funny

thakiller 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 13:33

just be a stripper for Halloween haha

bayonet 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 13:42

now that's funny

queens_fml 5

Wednesday 27 October 2010 13:43

loool funny

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

The Top

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 061

You deserved it 8 155

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, the girl I was going to hook up with took off her clothes and revealed she had an absolutely disturbing tattoo of a rotting zombie head on her lower stomach and groin, the idea being that during sex my penis would look like it was in the zombie's mouth. I couldn’t go through with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 208

Today, it's been two years since I got a Dobermann as a gift for my husband. For two years he has cried non-stop, constantly played with his privates, reeked of dead corpse, and used shit to mark the entire yard. He cries all night long. I haven’t slept in two years. I think I have sleep deprivation. My husband says he must stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 487

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 313

You deserved it 3 187

Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 122

You deserved it 5 604

Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 738

You deserved it 14 619

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 3 769

Same thing different taste

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