Love: Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween....

By Anonymous - 27/10/2014 06:01 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 010

You deserved it 5 185

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By gutsforme - 11/08/2010 10:40 - New Zealand

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 388

You deserved it 4 486

By Janie - 10/01/2012 05:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 566

You deserved it 4 018

By hunting7waves - 25/09/2015 05:31 - United States - Des Moines

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 725

You deserved it 1 893

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 02:42 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at Halloween costumes online for this year's Halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 528

You deserved it 3 907

By what even - 14/05/2015 22:17 - United States - Athens

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 4 854

By lhazel - 17/09/2015 02:36 - United States - Mount Juliet

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 253

You deserved it 2 091

By readytomingle - 15/07/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 084

You deserved it 42 401

By Rejected. - 22/11/2009 17:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 395

You deserved it 3 942

By klv8 - 07/02/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 720

You deserved it 3 561

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:51 - United States - Seattle

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 169

You deserved it 2 448

OceanMinded 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 12:04

ouch.

kemolegend907 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 12:08

3, don't be sexist, a lot of girls do that kind of shit too

Comments

goalie001 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 5:59

I'm hitler for Halloween and I'm going to walk through the holocaust museum jk just think

crazycrackah101 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 6:32

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

CoonYuh 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 6:42

At least he didn't say "Chris Brown and you can be Rhianna"

ImmaZebra 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:20

Wow, what a poop-face. I'm sorry, that was clever on his part, but it was a dick move.

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:05

What a coincidence, so are you!

Tanya101 4

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:22

:[ im sorry that sucks get a better guy!!!!

hbaybee21 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:23

haha, sucks for you (:

JordynnLOL 11

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:23

Would you like some ice for that nasty burn?

roketkween 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:42

ha owned!

Thanateros 1

Thursday 28 October 2010 12:06

Nice

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 747

You deserved it 17 915

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 035

You deserved it 4 250

The Top

Today, my fiance told me that he no longer loves me, that he still has feelings for an ex. The wedding is off and he needs the ring back to give to the right woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 865

You deserved it 3 904

Today, after $87, waiting five months and making sure everything was perfect, I was ready to go see my favorite comedian live. I got the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 023

You deserved it 1 280

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 33 446

Today, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 087

You deserved it 26 617

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 517

You deserved it 8 882

Today, I worked up the courage to ask out the girl I liked. I got her a nice bracelet for her birthday and asked her on a date when I gave it to her. "Aww, you're so sweet!" was the response to the gift. Her response to the date proposal? "Wait, you aren't gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 657

You deserved it 1 441

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments