Love: Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have...

By (._. ) - 06/08/2013 20:35 - United States - Alburnett

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 772

You deserved it 5 129

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Same thing different taste

Nice dude

By ThroatSlasher - 17/08/2015 19:20 - United Kingdom - Grimsby

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 999

You deserved it 2 459

By Anonymous - 04/12/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 827

You deserved it 3 252

By 3some? uh, no - 01/02/2013 19:59 - Dominican Republic

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 249

You deserved it 33 146

Property dispute

By Anonymous - 19/01/2014 22:59 - United States - Dallas

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 829

You deserved it 11 965

By rainonmyparade - 17/03/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 711

You deserved it 3 591

By BadGuyLuck - 25/02/2012 06:33 - United States

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 2 799

Traditional

By Vinny1017 - 07/10/2010 14:26 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No. Now get out of my house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 420

You deserved it 4 852

Sorry sweaty

By boyfriendless - 10/04/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a five year-old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, and he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute… except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 898

You deserved it 6 208

By nyx - 27/09/2014 08:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 529

You deserved it 3 680

Commited

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 00:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask out my crush, only to find out that they're already in a committed relationship with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 155

ShinedownLuv 14

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:32

Yeah, I think he was B.Sing you

ladylilly25 20

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:34

Doesn't sound like a man to me.

Comments

Fmlsea 28

Wednesday 7 August 2013 12:53

I think its about time that he got removed from his parents hips.

xMew 7

Wednesday 7 August 2013 12:59

Well he wanted you so the man of your dreams likes you

Sheh_fml 25

Wednesday 7 August 2013 13:19

You might have dodged a bullet there...

mmcrae97 9

Wednesday 7 August 2013 13:52

Soooo if he ever gets married, is he going to ask his dad if he's allowed to have kids too?

mekoveya 10

Wednesday 7 August 2013 15:04

I'm confused as to how you can still refer to him as "the man of your dreams" after that b.s. Clearly he's a little boy in a man's body.

hope4life 9

Wednesday 7 August 2013 15:33

Your better off without him. Trust me, after dating a boy who was 25 and has a similar issue with his father, it's so not worth it!

EtherealNight85 9

Wednesday 7 August 2013 16:07

This is not the man you were looking for. You may go about your search for him. Move along.

doctorhook86 24

Wednesday 7 August 2013 16:42

You dream about very strange men, OP.

chosha_fml 26

Wednesday 7 August 2013 17:13

You should ask his dad out. Especially if he faked the call. :)

lynjeb 7

Wednesday 7 August 2013 17:19

Yeah that is a lie for no.

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The Top

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long-distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 823

You deserved it 14 281

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 139

You deserved it 3 689

Today, I was watching a movie online. There was a 15 minute ad. 13 minutes into watching an ad about birth control, I noticed that there was a "skip this ad" button in the corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 796

You deserved it 53 281

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 418

You deserved it 15 328

Today, I finally determined the source of the horrible smell that periodically invades my apartment: there's nothing wrong with the plumbing as I previously thought, I can just smell my neighbors pooping in their bathroom on the other side of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 399

You deserved it 720

Today, I told the guy I have feelings for that I'm interested in, and asked him how he feels about it. He responded via text, saying, "I feel fairly neutral about that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 794

You deserved it 4 210

Today, I ran into my mother-in-law, who I absolutely can't stand, with my car at 5 mph by accident. She jumped out in front of me after a particularly nasty argument, but my husband won't believe me and neither will the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 070

You deserved it 572