Today, I asked the iguana to paint his cousin, the chameleon....

By EricabrahamEA - 21/10/2016 11:55 - India

Today, I asked the iguana to paint his cousin, the chameleon. He nailed it. Smartass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 66

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

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Same thing different taste

Hangry

By Geckosrock99 - 20/07/2016 05:58

Today, my iguana tried to eat my hand. Taking that as a sign of being hungry, I gave him a bowl of fruits and veggies. After he finished the bowl, he tried to eat my hand again. My iguana's an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 280

You deserved it 1 856

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really liked. He spent the whole time talking about his pet iguana and how it's the love of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 171

Own it

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 06:00

Today, I was entertaining my niece at the family lunch by painting my lip with calamari ink. My father told me I looked like Ursula, from The Little Mermaid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 364

By is cum a fruit or a vegetable? - 17/07/2015 17:50 - United States - Germantown

Today, my grandpa saw one of the paintings in the guest room at my house. "What the fuck?" he snorted, then said whoever painted it should "stick to their damn day job". I painted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 831

You deserved it 2 640

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 03:52 - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 942

You deserved it 2 920

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 17:35 - Canada

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 402

You deserved it 12 870

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 320

You deserved it 49 587

By Anonymous - 08/12/2013 16:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 736

You deserved it 4 118

Thanks, I hate it

By I'm Trading Up For A Dog - 14/12/2014 20:28 - Finland - Pori

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 674

You deserved it 6 244

Remember the TV show "V"?

By Sarah Lyn - 24/06/2019 04:59

Today, I saw the cutest baby watching a show with my Dad. After commenting how cute she was, my Dad goes on to say, "Yeah, most babies are cute. Except you, you looked like a lizard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 712

You deserved it 241

engel2882 3

Friday 21 October 2016 14:06

This is a bearded dragon.

flamingarrow59 21

Friday 21 October 2016 14:09

That's not an iguana...

Comments

Aurora25 29

Sunday 26 January 2020 1:44

shame thats a bearded dragon

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 738

You deserved it 4 239

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 345

You deserved it 9 123

Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They finally gave in. After they handed me my diploma, they decided to leave because it was "too boring." I'm currently sitting on the curb of the street waiting for my Uber, while people take pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 474

You deserved it 1 497

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 425

You deserved it 13 450

Today, my social awkwardness got to an all-time high when I hoped that I wouldn't get the job that I applied for, because I'd be working with the public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 350

Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 481

You deserved it 7 605

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 376

You deserved it 2 815