Miscellaneous: Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich...

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 320

You deserved it 49 588

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 065

You deserved it 3 116

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 05:55 - United States - Truckee

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 404

You deserved it 5 441

By Shitty day - 24/05/2016 05:59 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 649

You deserved it 1 568

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 315

You deserved it 3 833

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 08:19 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 635

You deserved it 10 655

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 401

You deserved it 4 695

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 6 902

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 590

You deserved it 941

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 03:52 - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 942

You deserved it 2 920

By ILoveAnimals - 11/06/2012 07:14 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 772

You deserved it 5 549

TheSuitGuy 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:18

There's a reason the signs say 'Don't feed the animals'.

MissGreenT 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:19

guess you could say you had a shitty day? FYL

Comments

TheSuitGuy 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:18

There's a reason the signs say 'Don't feed the animals'.

Aha09 1

Saturday 28 November 2009 3:57

True. But as #27 said, it looks like the OP is too stupid to follow simple rules. They're there for more than pretty decoration, ya' know?

coolscale 6

Saturday 28 November 2009 5:29

crap for a crappy sandwich. what did you expect anyway?

jimjimson 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 7:17

What does OP mean?

mushoo_fml 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 7:55

OP means that the chimpanzee threw a troll at him.

st87 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 7:59

turd sandwich? Anyway... it must have been opposite day =P

Starfire22 5

Saturday 28 November 2009 18:10

There needs to be an fml guide to abreviations because this question gets asked way too often...

Dani_Babe 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 22:19

LOL!!!

keegs666 0

Sunday 28 March 2010 5:57

what does the abbreviation OP mean?!

adzo909 0

Monday 12 April 2010 9:56

that's when the shit hit the man

zolltf 4

Monday 26 April 2010 14:18

OP stands for "ornemental penis". I thought everyone knew that.

blankaex 0

Monday 7 June 2010 17:07

How do you know it was a thank you? It could've been a "Your sandwitch sucks! This tastes better!" *Throws exploding crap*

nairb1997 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 6:30

yes

kaycee1996 5

Wednesday 18 January 2012 17:54

Haha! That's the first thing I thought of when I read this too:D Also no one has actually explained what OP means yet :(

dedanjel 33

Sunday 27 January 2019 15:43

Original Poster

SZeth_fml 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

macgruberiscool 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:19

lol epic fail

TwitchingNebula 17

Wednesday 20 July 2011 2:03

Who flung poo?

MissGreenT 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:19

guess you could say you had a shitty day? FYL

fridalovesyou 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:53

lol XD You took the words out of my mouth mate. :)

sarcdude 3

Saturday 28 November 2009 6:27

aw, I lol'd

EpicJohn 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:21

hahaha OWNED

vordhosbn 9

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:23

"Thanks, I can make good use of that... here's one I made earlier *fling*"

Zazu7711 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 3:27

LOL

Towelie_31 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:28

can you say free souvenier?

whataloadofbull 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 4:09

u spelled souvenir wrong

Reese899 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 5:46

You spelled YOU wrong.

sarcdude 3

Saturday 28 November 2009 6:51

You spelled nothing wrong.

mushoo_fml 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 7:57

They didn't spell "nothing".

maeday 0

Friday 23 April 2010 16:16

#64 - intelligence FAIL. It was a joke! A pretty clever one at that.

CitizenSnipz 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 15:20

/facepalm

the_raf 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:45

he didn't like the sammich :(

maxisis_fml 6

Sunday 24 June 2012 19:56

Monkeys are horribly evil creatures

rlet 1

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:46

you totally deserve it, what kind of example r u giving to ur daughter??? next time READ the signs, the animals don't know if u r trying to be nice or rude to them they just react to whatever happens u threw something to them they r going to deffend themselves by throwing something too...