Miscellaneous: Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water....

By oldtexas - 13/08/2009 07:27 - United States

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 266

You deserved it 67 497

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/09/2014 21:37 - Sweden - Ume

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 962

You deserved it 41 633

By Sean - 25/12/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 241

You deserved it 53 822

By Kyle - 05/01/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 918

You deserved it 35 962

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 07:25 - France

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 135

You deserved it 6 295

By blackvogue - 01/04/2009 10:42 - Canada

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 422

You deserved it 168 122

By lucas_urev - 15/09/2014 22:19 - United States - Cold Spring Harbor

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 758

You deserved it 7 139

Suffer little chives

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 23:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I found out where the puddle in the basement came from. I thought the freezer was broken, but no. My mom is running what can only be called a death camp for vegetables in there. She buys them, then forgets about them until they turn liquid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 72

Poor little dude

By One mad mother - 06/04/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, as a joke, my husband filled my son's airtight water bottle with seltzer water before we went to kindergarten. The top blew off when he tried to drink, hitting him in the nose and spraying him with cold water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 132

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 175

You deserved it 54 763

By Nick - 13/08/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 406

You deserved it 147 123

blue8795 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 16:06

You didn't notice the weight difference?

Nonamerequired 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 16:05

Deserved. Poor mom though.

Comments

AnneFTW 17

Thursday 13 August 2009 19:21

How did you not notice that the cup was heavier? & The water would've sloshed around when you picked it up.. YDI.

peytoncullen 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 19:32

i moderated this!

BrunetteHottiie 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 19:58

Who. gives. a. ****.

splitsides 4

Friday 14 August 2009 5:48

Oh, thank God. I was just sitting here thinking to myself, "I really hope peytoncullen moderated this!" Thanks for clearing it up.

NobodyUKnow 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 19:38

You sound like you're ******* retarted.

nonconscious 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 19:44

Liar.

rihannalover 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 19:47

feezer? ahaha.

XTheDesertSongX 17

Thursday 13 August 2009 19:49

yougetmecloserto Is cool because he likes nine inch nails. my favorite band!!!! but I do sense moron in him a bit..... loljk

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Thursday 13 August 2009 19:56

Feezer Geezer Fail.

8IGHTY8 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 20:04

you are an idiot !! can't u tell the difference between the weight of a empty and a filled cup!!!!

CrimsonImpact 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 20:09

Actually, seeing as you apparently just doused your mother, I think that still makes the joke on her..

hollisterxhottie 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 20:43

my friend has one of those, their fun. poor mom tho.

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The Top

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 541

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 89

The Top

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 363

You deserved it 127 907

Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 263

You deserved it 5 725

Today, I have killed at least several dozen flies over the course of the past few days. My cat, who used to be a fly killing machine, isn't doing shit to help me. She's not old or fat or anything, she's just lazy. Meanwhile, I had to go buy a water bottle with a cover to keep flies from going into my drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 245

Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 187

You deserved it 485

Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 2 388

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 874

You deserved it 4 395

Same thing different taste

Suffer little chives

Poor little dude

Backfire

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