Miscellaneous: Today, I bought a key finder that responds to loud, high-pitched,... - FML

By annoying - 10/01/2012 01:30 - United States

Today, I bought a key finder that responds to loud, high-pitched, annoying tones. It beeps every time I talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 179

You deserved it 22 567

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 16:38 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 397

You deserved it 1 589

Clever girl

By Bug8Frog - 30/07/2013 06:42 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 730

You deserved it 6 779

By Beeper - 11/10/2014 19:07 - United States - Champaign

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 710

You deserved it 5 234

By Anonymous - 20/02/2012 06:05 - United States

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 648

You deserved it 41 111

The voice

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 18:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had to listen to some old phone call recordings at work, in which a certain worker had the most annoying high-pitched voice. To my horror, I discovered that they were my call recordings, so the annoying voice was my own. My colleagues all concurred they cannot stand the sound of me talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 163

By newlyneurotic - 03/09/2017 07:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I finally got the hearing aids that I've needed for years. My dog quickly learned that if he quietly sneaks up behind me and barks, it'll scare the hell out of me. It's now his favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 090

You deserved it 358

By Ihaveaheadache - 09/02/2012 05:37 - United States

Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 972

You deserved it 2 178

By princesss_14 - 26/12/2013 02:07 - United States - Seguin

Today, I got a whistle key finder from my grandma for Christmas. This would have been nice if I could actually whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 043

You deserved it 4 949

By Shutup! - 31/10/2014 10:42 - United Kingdom - London

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 963

You deserved it 2 623

So frustrating!

By Unsuccessful Prankster - 13/06/2023 08:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I got those stickers that say "Voice Activated; Say Loudly: PAPER TOWEL NOW!" I then placed one in a public bathroom and waited in the stall to hear someone yell the phrase. I waited for thirty minutes and heard the machine go off several times, with no shouting at all. In other words, no one fell for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 1 581

Next

Top comments

IndigoFuckYou 9

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:05

That's just the universe telling you to stfu.

jaredjudd21 2

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:00

Have a scream off with it.

Comments

iluvevil01 11

Wednesday 11 January 2012 5:15

Omg my mom just got one! It always goes off. We hate it :(

jgray106 3

Wednesday 11 January 2012 5:22

Thank you. That's the first time I've laughed today

melanierules123 7

Wednesday 11 January 2012 5:43

Do you say "like" and "omg" a lot?

lmgk 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 6:16

I got one of those too!!!! F their noises!!! Haha. Sometimes I have to yell at it and it still won't work and other times it can b dead silent and go off. Fyl and fml!

Mister_Triangle 21

Wednesday 11 January 2012 7:31

24-I have a penis and am offended you assumed otherwise!

eatpraylovee44 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 8:43

My moms Best friend just got one of those! :O she was telling us about it when we were leaving the airport last week. Lmao, maybe you're my moms best friend.

profoundkisses 18

Wednesday 11 January 2012 13:51

Sucks for you!

Jimmyx24 3

Thursday 12 January 2012 11:00

So you're saying you have a voice like Justin Bieber?

Starchild2229 12

Thursday 12 January 2012 14:12

lol i got one for christmas too pain in the ass

SpeechQween94 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:53

Aww. Sorry about that. Mine goes off all the time too. It's usually because of my nine year old brother but I do it too.

1
2
3
4
5

Keywords

Gifts Awkward Kids Money Alcohol Addiction Love Health Sexism Work Coworkers Racism Sex Bodyshaming Annoying Parenting Accident Miscellaneous Intimacy Poopoo peepee Cute Weddings Sports Ironic Erratas Neighbours AITA Housework Home improvement Cleaning

The Top

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 351

You deserved it 4 530

Today, I was so horny, I decided to meet up secretly with a guy after having dinner with family. We went for a night drive and he parked somewhere to go down on me. The dude was sucking the life out of my clit, almost biting it off. Good thing my mum called and I had a reason to escape the ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 855

The Top

Today, it's been five days since I finally made it to my dream vacation destination, after months of planning, saving, and dreaming. I got food poisoning within hours of arriving and I've spent the last five days in my hotel room, staring at a toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 78

Siblings know the struggle.

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 72

Today, my sixteen-year-old daughter put her soda in the microwave to “cool it down by making the ice cubes melt faster”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 102

Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 487

You deserved it 3 906

Today, I drove to my university to pick up forms and books. When I parked at 2:58 there was 30 mins on the meter. I returned at 3:32 only to find a parking ticket issued at 3:31. The worst part is, the books were not available until next week and I could've got the forms online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 737

You deserved it 4 825

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 948

You deserved it 3 377