Health: Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day,...

By idiot - 04/01/2013 10:13 - Sweden

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 190

You deserved it 12 961

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Same thing different taste

By monster1109 - 10/08/2015 15:51 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 281

You deserved it 9 350

Thrashed

By Ringo McDingo - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 532

You deserved it 2 257

By kiriakousauce21 - 15/02/2010 07:44 - France

Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 862

You deserved it 32 858

By StillDrowsy - 09/10/2009 12:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 7 371

By Michael - 25/10/2011 15:00 - Australia

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 937

You deserved it 15 641

Night terrors

By Si123 - 15/08/2020 08:01

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 251

Thud

By Dammit - 03/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I got home after a long day and collapsed onto my bed… forgetting I'd left my laptop open on it. Now I have an expensive, broken pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 415

By Liz - 08/07/2019 00:00

Today, I woke up, and I could see perfectly. Somehow, during the night, my eyes magically became 20/20. I was overjoyed, until I realized I'd fallen asleep with my glasses on. My eyes are still trash, and I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 590

Down the hatch

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 474

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 545

You deserved it 21 360

The_Tool1 13

Friday 4 January 2013 16:01

I know that sounds really bad, but hey at least you aren't really blind!

Zebediabolical 39

Friday 4 January 2013 16:02

When I wake up blind, I generally rub my eyes before I jump out of bed all panicked. It usually solves the problem.

Comments

mistercrow 9

Friday 4 January 2013 19:10

Ohhh you didnt happen to be The Blind Date from the other FML about the blind date ? haha JOKEZ ^_^

esc145 3

Friday 4 January 2013 19:53

So... when you wake wearing a sheet, do you panic because your body is gone?

misataylor86 10

Friday 4 January 2013 20:32

I don't understand how it's her fault for calling him out? He may have been cheating with the other girl!

outoftown 26

Friday 4 January 2013 20:50

Oops, that's one FML up.

NYCBOII123 7

Friday 4 January 2013 21:59

Ouch, that really sucks. Hope you get better. :)

hateevryone 14

Friday 4 January 2013 22:36

That sounds like something I would do. I'm forgetful.

KaiCer0 8

Friday 4 January 2013 23:56

I guess I could see that happening (pun intended). o.o

TheWorldGreatest 8

Saturday 5 January 2013 1:12

I hope you feel better soon

The_F3rris 11

Saturday 5 January 2013 5:31

You didn't feel it on your face?

puppster391 16

Saturday 5 January 2013 8:17

Sleeping masks take a while to get used to, but they really do help :P

tfisch16 9

Saturday 5 January 2013 8:52

Get it together

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, I went to get gas for my car. While waiting in line at the cash register, I was next person, and I noticed the cashier had her name tag on her boob. I like to know other people’s names, and the name tag said Irene. The cashier saw me looking at her breast so now I'm not sure if she thinks I’m a pervert or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 170

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 608

You deserved it 6 923

The Top

Today, I overheard my mom telling my aunt what an “attention-seeking drama queen” I’ve been lately. All I asked was that she not smoke around me. I’ve had asthma all my life and am currently recovering from Covid. She thinks it’s all a conspiracy, meanwhile I haven’t taken a deep breath in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 116

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 036

You deserved it 3 754

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 949

You deserved it 3 454

Today, I was going to ask out a girl I work with, only to find out that not only is she in a relationship, she’s also a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 244

Today, I had to use a sick day from the school I teach at. While I was off, another teacher called me mid delirium, because my students were borderline rioting over the work I left for them. I'd asked them to read a book and edit the one-page essay they've had two weeks to work on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 366

You deserved it 1 724

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 259

You deserved it 10 576