Intimacy: Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until...

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 236

You deserved it 12 862

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Same thing different taste

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 273

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 083

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 214

You deserved it 14 992

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 398

You deserved it 622

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 293

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 498

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 373

Get it where you can

By Anonymous - 12/07/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 353

By Nikse - 29/07/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 356

You deserved it 52 037

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 834

Batkid217 14

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:03

looks like you'll be needing some ocdick.

aylind 18

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:07

Well...there's always your fingers.

Comments

quesok 22

Wednesday 20 May 2015 5:22

Please don't turn a real dick on and off seven times in rapid succession, I think it would break faster than the vibrator

bleedingglitter 24

Wednesday 20 May 2015 5:38

Maybe get a "personal massager" they are a little more durable though pricey.

kristen5286 12

Wednesday 20 May 2015 5:49

should have used that ocd to give yourself 7 happy endings instead

chef4money 12

Wednesday 20 May 2015 6:20

Return it if there is a return policy. I'm sorry your ***** broke, that's sad.

Exaspera 54

Wednesday 20 May 2015 6:26

Oh for crying out loud. Give it a good smack.

fallen_dragonkin 12

Wednesday 20 May 2015 6:27

that can't be good quality product, regardless what it is, electrical items shouldn't break just because they are switched on and off

cruzzer810 6

Wednesday 20 May 2015 7:00

did you try tuning it on and off again? sorry op that sucks.

NoOneElse999 8

Thursday 21 May 2015 0:00

I know your reference.

Nimor 25

Wednesday 20 May 2015 7:39

/facepalm

wow_very_doge 10

Wednesday 20 May 2015 11:31

Cheap vibrators are road to hell and self-destruction. Your device deserved it, not you.

vampire1618 5

Wednesday 20 May 2015 12:22

This immediately made me think of one of my supervisors who has fairly severe OCD (depends on the day for him in terms of how bad it is or sometimes it gets set off) and if he has anything related to the OCD if he's having some alone time...