Intimacy: Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until...

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By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 249

You deserved it 12 868

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Same thing different taste

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 279

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 271

Nooooooo!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 278

You deserved it 15 004

Overcome

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 408

You deserved it 628

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 296

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 500

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 377

Get it where you can

By Anonymous - 12/07/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 359

By Nikse - 29/07/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 361

You deserved it 52 046

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 837

Batkid217 14

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:03

looks like you'll be needing some ocdick.

aylind 18

Wednesday 20 May 2015 0:07

Well...there's always your fingers.

Comments

davek 36

Wednesday 20 May 2015 14:42

If that's what it's like with a vibrator, you must be great fun in bed... ouch.

RealSuperSand 21

Wednesday 20 May 2015 14:44

Dildon't.

JNOV 8

Wednesday 20 May 2015 15:24

Bruh, "crippling OCD" that "forced" you to turn it on and off like a six year old? Just take responsibility for the fact that you were acting like a child. Everyone does it, even adults.

uhnevermind 24

Wednesday 20 May 2015 17:28

It's 2014. You're about 70 years late for the "mental disorders don't exist" boat.

Isa_fml 20

Thursday 21 May 2015 4:44

**** off, you piece of trash troll.

Oh_bother44 11

Wednesday 20 May 2015 15:46

I'm not OCD and as such cannot understand your compulsions exactly but IF the compulsion is just with the number 7- maybe turning the next one on and off seven times but not as rapidly... If you slow down the turning it on and off it may not break....

TheIronFez 13

Wednesday 20 May 2015 15:52

Well, that's what you get for buying a facking *****.

Benmantha 31

Wednesday 20 May 2015 18:07

Well, that's a buzzkiller.

Captain_Debilos_fml 13

Wednesday 20 May 2015 20:19

use your fingers

landonyy 1

Wednesday 20 May 2015 21:54

Anythings a ***** if you're brave enough

thatonedude55 8

Thursday 21 May 2015 7:30

How the hell does she deserve wasting money because her mental illness made her do a thing? People suck. Also, sorry for your blue balls.... ovaries, OP.