Health: Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle....

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 214

You deserved it 52 393

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Same thing different taste

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 168

You deserved it 12 530

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 532

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 676

You deserved it 27 497

By Asshole hornet - 28/10/2013 20:18 - United States - Marblehead

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 376

You deserved it 3 501

By anonymous - 05/02/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 923

You deserved it 45 098

But… why?

By Fmylife - 06/07/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 257

You deserved it 120 979

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 993

You deserved it 7 977

What? Why?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1 043

By Username - 09/05/2011 17:23 - China

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 234

You deserved it 10 549

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 770

You deserved it 71 609

beccaishereyay 11

Tuesday 26 June 2012 11:46

Keyword: tried.

lenluigi 6

Tuesday 26 June 2012 11:49

if you can't sniff it try tasting it

Comments

xmaximusx 12

Wednesday 27 June 2012 4:35

You probably own a bmw aswell !

YesyDidWhat 0

Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:15

Well I hope the candle smelled pretty delightful if you burned your nose in return lol

DiceLover 7

Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:17

My only thought whilst reading this was "why thr f*ck would you do that?".

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:01

were u high?

jimshrimp 0

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:08

how does this even qualify for fml?!

maclieberman 5

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:34

uh that wasn't real smart....if u really like to smell candles, smell them before u light them! ydi!

TheBedMonster 5

Wednesday 27 June 2012 7:17

I would total do that so don't worry

MC3_Master 0

Wednesday 27 June 2012 7:28

Are you blonde?

HurryUp_and_BUY 6

Wednesday 27 June 2012 7:42

Damn OP I don't know whether to laugh at you or pity you. smh

monkey253100 8

Wednesday 27 June 2012 9:16

Well that's just stupid

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend, who I thought was the one I’d one day marry, didn’t survive her first time meeting the extended family. My parents loved her, but my grandma, great grandma, aunties, and cousins gave her such a hard time that she ran out in tears, jumped on a bus, then broke up with me via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 180

Today, my girlfriend got super paranoid when I received flowers, along with a card saying what a "lovely time" the sender had last weekend. My girlfriend decided this was proof I'd cheated on her. The card was signed "Vanessa," which is also her mother's name. Who stayed with us last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 153

You deserved it 492

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 35 596

You deserved it 2 709

Today, I was feeding my neighbor's cat while they are out of town. As I set the food down, the cat bit me, drawing blood. I reflected that although I'm all that stands between it and starvation, even the cat doesn't want to be my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 136

Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 197

Today, my dad asked my brother not to use his shaver so late at night. That wasn't him, and it wasn't his shaver either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 647

You deserved it 3 314

Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 760

You deserved it 2 205

Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 912

You deserved it 39 290

Same thing different taste

But… why?

What? Why?

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