By Anonymous - 04/09/2009 07:39 - Korea Republic of

Today, I called my girlfriend's parent to ask for her hand in marriage. They were shocked and told me that they would have to refuse. Apparently my girlfriend had told them last week that she had met someone new at work and didn't know how to break it off with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 624
You deserved it 3 011

robocop123426 tells us more.

robocop123426 0

Hi, I'm the author of this post. There are a few things I would like to clarify. First, I am from the south, and it is considered respectful to ask the father for his daughter's hand in marriage. This is usually just a formality, but it shows the parents a lot of respect. This is usually done in person. This has nothing to do with viewing someone as property. This was just a gesture of goodwill to her parents. Nothing more. Second, the reason I didn't ask them in person is because I am stationed in Korea for the next year and I won't be able to see them until sometime next year. I WAS planning on asking my ex when I took leave in November so I thought asking over the phone would be ok. But as you can imagine, that isn't going to happen. Third, the idea of us getting married was her idea. I have been in the military 6 years now and I know what deployments do to relationships. I cared a lot about her and to be honest I still do. This actually happened about 3 weeks ago and it is still shocking since we were together for over 2 years. But, after reading a few of the post on here, I understand it could have been a lot worst. She could have totaled my car or killed my dog. So thanks for all of the well wishes, I appreciate it. For those who laughed at this and said that sucks, you know, your right. It does suck. And yes my life sucks (for now)

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Top comments

rosierosierosie 0

ouch, I'm sorry. At least you didn't actually ask her.

45 1
robocop123426 0

I am from Alabama, a state in the USA. I am serving in South Korea for a 1 year tour.

23 0

Comments

cartering 0

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3 22
TerraofDarkness 0

At the same time you have to remember that this is in Korea. They have different customs than us, so it may have just been common courtesy to ask for permission/blessings from the parents.

3 11
drknssdrgn 0

Yeah and it's perfectly common and respectable that the man get the blessings from the parents first. He's not saying she isn't capable of making her own decisions, he's just merely going through the formalities and pleasantries. He's not treating her like sh!t he's treating her like she is loved and he's treating her parents with respect. there is nothing wrong with that. Get off your feminist soap box and think about things before you post. And before you say anything about how I'm a sexist chauvinist pig for saying that... I'm a gay man, in a happy relationship... So yeah, get over yourself :o)

11 5
theanonimouse 0

bc obvs gay ppl cant b sexist u gaiz omg their ttly luvin n exceptn n evry wai~

1 6
jadefire15 17

I'm a feminist and the only way this would be treating a woman like an object is if they planned a wedding (the boyfriend and the parents) without consent of the girlfriend. It's not treating a woman like an object when you pull her chair out for her to sit, or offer to pay the bill, or even when you lift her up to carry her. So why is trying to be a gentleman who doesn't want an angry daddy suddenly treating a woman like an object? Get of your high horse cause you've obviously got a case of saddle-leg, and you can't distinguish manners from misogyny.

6 1
ethan_18 14

It's quite a nice gesture and a formality to show respect to her parents, you gain their respect and form a strong bond with your inlaws. After you receive the blessing, you would of course ask her to marry you.

1 1
openyoureyes_123 0

Thats really sad... poor you :(

0 0
laomaostu 0

you should have asked your girlfriend instead of her parents. YDI

1 12
liivelaughlovee 0

ahhhhha a lot of guys ask the parents first. it's very gentleman-like . : )

2 2
sara942 0

That really sucks, man, FYL. For those retards who are whining about how asking the girl's parents for their blessings makes the girl look like property and is backwards or whatever: 1. If she has a good relationship with her parents, she's gonna want them to like the man she marries. For the guy, it would save him a lot of trouble if he made sure they liked him first, before putting himself through a lifetime of awkward resentment from his in-laws, even if she did marry him... 2. You obviously know nothing about marriage. Marriage is not just about the guy and the girl getting married. They both (presumably) have families that play pretty big roles in their lives. If you want to get married and isolate yourself from the rest of your family just because you chose a husband or wife that nobody likes, you're gonna be pretty miserable. 3. This is a little concept called RESPECT. For anyone from any culture or background that pays respect to older people, especially parents, asking for their blessings is simply a sign of respect for their opinion and their wisdom, especially if they've only spent the last 20 or more years raising, caring for, and feeding the woman you're about to propose to. They deserve to be heard. Save your garbage about how he deserves rejection for paying respect to the girl's parents. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what he did, and in many cultures, this sort of thing is extremely important, so stop being so provincial and shocked that someone actually does things differently than you.

12 3
FSBull 0

If she is talking to her folks first, be glad its over...you would've always been second.

1 0
theskinny 0

Well first off, thank you for serving in the military- it doesnt go unappreciated. (: Now to your FML. I am also from the South and asking a womans father for her hand in marriage is the polite thing to do. It shows a level of respect and caring about their input. The fathers typically won't say no, its just something to let them know what's going on. I would hope that my boyfriend will ask my father first, its just... I don't know. Something you do. And wow- I am really sorry that she ended up being a jerk like that, and I'm just glad that her father told you. So yeah, FYL.

5 0
theanonimouse 0

Again, I'm also from the South. But I don't see why, (unless you were raised by a single father), your father's input should be any more valuable than your mother's? And honestly, you'd rather let your father decide who you marry than actually make the decision yourself? Sounds like you have some serious self-esteem issues. :( I mean, I'm okay with a guy giving the girl's parents a heads-up, but asking the father's, (and only the father's), permission to marry their adult daughter? Smacks of misogyny to me.

1 10
theskinny 0

No, thats not at all what he means. AGAIN- the father won't typically say "no", unless the guy's a deadbeat. And if he's a deadbeat, he probably wouldn't be a gentleman and ask her Dad. It is simply a gesture. And just because her father says "sure, go on and marry her" does not mean that SHE has to accept his proposal. Sheesh. You're trying to make it sound like we sell women. And whereabouts in the south?? Because this is a preeettttty easy concept.

5 1
theanonimouse 0

Mississippi. And again, why only ask the father?

1 5
id0nTgiv3af___ 0

u Called them? u couldnt go a Visit them? you just.. Called them?

0 7
DameGreyWulf 0

And you believed them!? I mean, you need to at least talk to her before assuming things, especially things like that. For all you know, they may not like you OR they may have misinterpreted things. In any case you have to talk to her. While it's nice to have parental blessing, it's not exactly required. (By the way, I don't know what the hell was too hard to understand he was asking for a blessing out of respect of her parents... he wasn't trying to have them sell her to him or something, jeez...)

0 1