Miscellaneous: Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce....

By thatsasquee - 21/05/2011 06:42 - Canada

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 341

You deserved it 5 781

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 12:00

Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 209

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 129

Wish you were here

By taylor124 - 22/08/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 092

You deserved it 2 879

Good one, thanks

By MarkTheShark - 12/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 914

You deserved it 6 864

By Nudge23 - 26/09/2011 07:26 - Australia

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 826

You deserved it 4 659

By Poordaughter5 - 06/07/2016 17:21 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 205

You deserved it 791

Narcissistic parents strike again

By psychobunnycutie - 06/04/2021 05:00

Today, I got a call from my mom's new husband. It lasted 3 minutes and those 3 minutes were of him telling me how sad I make my mom for just existing, how jealous I make her because I'm living a life she wished she was. Turns out, she told him to call me and say that because I have her blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 112

Drama Llama

By Mike - 11/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Burlington

Today, I called my mother to say hi. She spent a whole hour and a half complaining about how I never call her, bawling and calling me "a waste of human flesh." I call her at least once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 131

By noway6000 - 03/03/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 569

You deserved it 94 767

Another non-emergency

By Anonymous - 29/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 600

3dollarbill 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 11:55

So did you leave a message or what?

Mirorbo 26

Saturday 21 May 2011 11:56

Such a lovely mother you have, darling...

Comments

bigassfish97 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 18:49

sounds fake

Black_Letter 19

Tuesday 9 August 2011 20:47

You probably deserve it for whatever you did to make her do that.

SecretlyEvil9792 22

Friday 12 August 2011 21:04

FYL.

thishannahkid 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:55

Joyce is a bitchy person name...

bullrider92 19

Sunday 28 August 2011 1:31

Wow,what a Mom.

ifetayo 2

Wednesday 7 September 2011 14:15

Your mom is ******* bomb!!!!! Love it! :)_

ClearlyEpic 10

Monday 28 November 2011 0:57

Punch her in the throat

iBiteRoses 22

Monday 30 January 2012 9:10

What kind of mom IS she?!?!?! D:

P8nLovesToast 2

Sunday 4 March 2012 5:26

That awkward moment when "Sophie" is a coworker that Joyce hates...

daisy963 4

Tuesday 27 March 2012 1:38

Haha what an awesome mom!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 296

You deserved it 1 134

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, my neighbours had an extremely loud party, which began at midnight and didn't end until 6. I know this because I had a 15 minute sleep, seeing as I had to wake up at quarter past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 949

You deserved it 364

Today, my girlfriend revealed she'd had an abortion. I wasn’t even aware she’d been pregnant, and she admitted it’s because my grandad and two of my siblings have autism, and she didn’t want to risk having an autistic child and dealing with the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 210

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 373

Today, I flew 8 hours to visit my boyfriend. When I arrived at the airport, and he started taking long to show up, I checked my email to see the info. I hit the junk mail by accident and found his last 10 emails in there. He had broken up with me a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 647

You deserved it 16 291

Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 739

You deserved it 48 511

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 067

You deserved it 2 805