So the concept of 'family' stops for you the moment you move out of home?

thanks 18

It's barbaric for the parent to automatically assume that when the child calls, they're asking for help. In many families, parents and children actually talk to each other about what's going on in their life. It's not just "leave it to beaver" or "the cosbys". This happens in real life too.

74, whilst that may be true... some people believe it's just in the shows and 'fake' families. Most likely their upbringing led them to this belief. My mum stopped being there for me at the age of 8 and my dad was hardly ever there. I could see why some people would say 'once you're 18, they don't have to help'. Doesn't exactly make it right or happen to be the easiest way, but it is doable.

it's not up to your parents to take care of you forever. Yea they should love and be there for you emotionally forever but at some point you need to support yourself. And her mom must have some reason to react the way she did. It's likely the OP only calls her mom when she needs money never to just share good news.

I agree, as a parent I do my best to help my kids. I do however have one that's like the Op's mother assumes she is, constantly calling for cash, always in "desperate" need of something she simply must have this instant. She will be the op in a few years once she's out on her own and not living with her mother anymore.

By your logic, no families should ever call each other. Ever. Because they are always asking for help. And if they do need help for one reason or another, no one should help them, especially not their family. Erm, no. What I got from this story is that OP was not calling to complain about he pregnancy, but to share the happy news with her parents. And for her mother to assume that she was askinv for help is a bitchy thing to do. I hope you never reproduce 163, because it seems like you will never help your kids if they have moved out and they need help.

Agree 100%

Except maybe OP isn't married...

I apologize, I forgot we lived in an age of deteriorating family values, let me rephrase that: She could approach her mate's mother with the news, perhaps she would be willing to fulfill the duties that her biological mother failed to do, assuming of course that the two have a stable relationship.

I'm all for deteriorating family values. It's better than divorce! ;)

Although I suppose that divorce could be categorized as a contributor to deteriorating family values. I meant that I was all for kids without marriage since the divorce rates are so high anyway. *Offspring of divorcees*

I was referring to couples having children outside of marriage. There's no guarantee that they'll be together for the full 18 years that it takes to raise a child, where as marriage is the universal way to display their commitment to each other. The only people who should be reproducing/raising children are those people; people that have the patience and tolerance to handle each other while they grow old over the next 50 years, as it's a virtue that not many of us possess today. But I guess I'm old fashioned. I understand there may be couples out there who can stand each other long enough to raise a family without getting married, however the majority of the people that successfully raise a family are committed to each other and show it by signing that legal agreement.

Yes, I am aware that you were referring to couples having children outside of marriage...And I was arguing that having kids outside of marriage seems better than having a marriage end in divorce. Perhaps I've just been "ruined" by my parents' divorce, but I just don't think that not getting married before having kids is immoral. Two people can still be very much in love and committed to each other without being married...Unlike my parents, who stuck together for 26 years simply because it was "for the good of the kids" and then decided "to hell with it" and just decided to get divorced a year ago.

We should invent a new video game "Call Of Duty, Marriage Rites" where people have to get married and raise a family together. What would the "Perks" be? (Don't talk to me about 'Hardened Pro')

There's already a game like that, RPS...The Sims! :P

Sorry. I'm just bitter because my parents did the "right" and "moral" thing by staying married to raise my brother and I. Then they decided that it wasn't worth it after all and got divorced after I'd reached an age when they thought it wouldn't effect me (it did, by the way). I'd say that seeing my parents stuck in a miserable marriage effected me in a more negative way then them choosing to separate ever did.

People don't always need a reason to be psycho.

Very true, 77... but the key word there is 'reason'. My parents are gone now, but when they were alive, they knew if I ever asked for anything, it was a very 'last resort' request. They knew I hated to ask anything of them because I tried to show by giving to them how much I appreciated the life they gave me up until I moved out. I never once got the response OP got - they were always willing to give anything to help me. Cosby Family??... nah. We kids were just raised to respect the hell outta our parents... & they respected us in the long run! ;)